Online dating how soon to respond

A lot of people clearly didn't know what to write in an online dating Time and time again, friends of mine feel crushed when they build a strong their profile, respond to things they message you (assuming they've written.
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Respond To Her Texts... Later

I will look at the person's profile and then think of a thoughtful reply, especially in the first message. I will generally decrease the time between messages as time goes on. If I write someone first, I usually take things at the responder's pace. If it took 2 days for the guy to respond to me, I will wait at least a day to write to him. I don't want to overwhelm people. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when people respond too quickly. It's a tricky situation and I don't know all the correct answers.

I had even toyed with the idea of asking a similar question to yours to get a general consensus of whether I'm following online dating etiquette. Also, I've had women on okcupid reply back to me months after my last message. Don't sweat it, there are more of them out there. You're overthinking the problem. She'll reply sometime later if she wants to, and she already responded to you once so clearly she's not completely uninterested. Perhaps she saw the new message notification, went to read it, and is planning to reply later? That's pretty common I would imagine. Treat it like you would any other type of communication.

Replying 30 seconds later looks desperate, but anywhere in the later that day to the few days later range is just fine until you know each better. I get email notice that I have new okc messages and will sometimes use the mobile site to read a new message. OKC shows that I've logged on, but I never write responses from my phone - that happens on the weekend when I can log into my home computer. But I want to check the inbox in case a date cancelled, etc. Please don't write a response to a message you haven't seen yet. Otherwise, everything you're saying sounds good.

Hopefully you feel better now you've got a load of near-instant askme responses. But I wouldn't worry about this one message. Because, you know, it's You happened to be by the computer, so you responded promptly. It would be silly to hold this against you. If I had to make up a rule, I'd say: As a disclaimer, this is just my speculation based on my experience as a straight man who uses OKCupid. Not being a woman, I obviously could be wrong about how women perceive these things.

Straight women generally have more luxury than straight men to filter people out based on trivial factors, so, as you know, one can't assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating. But really, I just respond when I get a chance. I assume people realize that there are random fluctuations with this kind of thing. As long as I respond within 24 hours, I don't worry about it. If I find myself taking days to respond to someone's message, I take it as a sign that I'm not actually that interested.

C As long as you feel like it.

72 hour rule for online dating? - onlinedating okcupid resolved | Ask MetaFilter

Look, you don't want to send off a bad email because you wrote it quickly and sent it without thinking. But waiting extra time just to not seem too eager or available or whatever is absurd. No one who's interested in you is going to stop and say "crap, morganw is interested in me and wrote back too soon, fuck that guy," and certainly no one you want to date is going to have that reaction. I really don't think that appropriate response time is tied to gender so much as it's tied to personality.

So framing this as "will women think this" or "men think that" is misleading. Some people like to reply to things right away, as soon as they see them. They are not the type to overthink and ponder perfect messages. They're likely to be the type to agree to meeting up as soon as possible, perhaps even that same day. There's likely a variable of interest that factors in too--if they like your profile, they'll be more likely to respond quickly. This is the kind of dater I am when I'm on OkCupid.

Online dating tipping point: When should you meet in person?

Some people don't like to appear too eager and prefer to take time to compose a thoughtful message that digs deeper in to someone's psyche. These are the people who are likely to have more extensive contact before meeting someone and will plan things out far in advance. If someone appeals to them, they may spend even more time planning out their response. Obviously, there are types in between these two ends of the spectrum.


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And when people match in their styles, communication is easy and trying to mindread the other person is minimized. When there's a mismatch, there can be a lot of confusion and angst on both ends.

In the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If the other person responds well to it, great! If not, then who knows, it might be an indicator that there were fundamental differences in communication there to begin with, and you just saved yourself the time and trouble of finding that out some other way. If you did this 4 times in a row, I might think it was a little eager.

About the author:

And meet them you must. Many macchiatos maketh the match and not all of us are great in writing. As the study suggests, time waits for no match. Take the plunge and meet in person. Well, there are things you can take away from it for next time. Were your expectations too high? Were they right for you —why not? Which of your needs did you think they might fulfil?

Should you avoid people who make grammatical errors in their profile? You likely did nothing wrong. But answering these questions is a useful way to progress the process of online dating.


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Many match-making websites now have their own blogs, or guides advising you how and when to meet — among other tips — that you might find useful. Go to parties, meet new friends and force yourself to speak to strangers — romantic potential, or not. It makes the prospect of arranging dates a lot less scary. Those 17 to 23 days of messages are just the first chapter in your story. Create your free profile on the Telegraph's online dating site. But how long should you wait before you go on a date, according to correct online dating etiquette?


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  5. We asked Shannon Tebb , Boutique Matchmaker and Dating Consultant, and Stacie Ikka , a nationally recognized matchmaker and dating coach, for their expert opinions on how to approach meeting in real life. Tebb recommends having exchanged at least three to five solid online messages that include a good rapport, similar interests, and give you an overall sense of comfort. You could feel that spark, or not, within as little as fifteen minutes of meeting someone in person compared to over fifteen days of carefully worded emails online. From there, you can see how your vibe gels with their vibe.