Are you dating someone, but a little nervous about pursuing a relationship because he or she has a mental illness? Let our reality check help.
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- 17 Things You Should Know About Dating A Girl With Mental Illness – HALFWAY2HANNAH
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- ‘So, you know I have bipolar?’ – the perils of dating with a mental health problem
- What You Need to Know About Dating While Mentally Ill: A Guide By Mentally Ill Women
The best advice I can give is to listen to yourself and your feelings.
17 Things You Should Know About Dating A Girl With Mental Illness – HALFWAY2HANNAH
Although these may be affected by your mental illness, your feelings and experiences still matter. The more you have this conversation, the more you will be able to determine what you want in other people, and what you will not accept. In doing this, you are directly investing in not only your future relationship, but your own well-being. Whether you are seeing people or are partnered, it is entirely possible to be happy while dating with a mental illness, and to enjoy it while things are good.
However, it is also important to account for what may happen, and how you want to go about those moments with the people you care for. Fan lives with dysthymia and anxiety. Recognize your own problematic coping mechanisms and toxic behaviors and work on them.
We all go through them. There is no fail-proof, universal way to handle hard moments, but you can prepare yourself by realistically thinking about what you, and whoever you are interested in, can do to prepare and face them together. Questions to ask yourselves include: Are we able to communicate about our mental health and needs in a healthy way?
How much am I asking of my partner? How much is my partner asking of me? While we strive to give what we can to the relationship, it is not always going to be perfectly balanced, and that is okay — as long as we are aware of it and address it with responsibility and love to our partners. Gutierrez lives with generalized anxiety disorder and depression.
A healthy relationship is entirely possible, regardless of how the balance shifts and changes over time. Mentally ill people are often erased from the conversation on how they would like to be supported during times of struggle. If you go ahead and try to do something for someone without asking, your attempt to help could actually be harmful. It is also just as important to check in with yourself, especially if you are a mentally ill person in a relationship with another mentally ill person. Your health and well-being always matters too. They are a whole person. Your love, support, and understanding is the best thing you can offer — just like any other relationship.
And please practice self-care. Your needs are just as important. Love can be, and is, a refuge for many with mental illness, and when we do have it, we want to keep it. She has so much to offer the world, and you may be the first person that comes into her life and relays this message to her. She is probably different than other girls you have dated. You are here for a reason, and a lot has to with the fact that you are bored with women who act, dress, and think the same. Do not reject her because you are intimidated by the unknown. You are different from her, and she is different from you.
She is taking just as much of a risk as you are. Do not make her feel as though you are doing her a favor by dating her. Appreciate what makes her different, and roll with it.
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This is a biggie! Not every argument should be blamed on the fact that she has a mental illness. She is not a scapegoat, and this is a problem that happens too often in relationships. I accused my ex-boyfriend of cheating on me. It turned out he was cheating on me, and every single suspicion I had was justified.
Women with a mental illness communicate in a language that is more emotional and beyond the surface. No, this does not mean are required to cry or read poems out loud to her. Emotional and sensitive are two different things. It means do not be afraid to communicate with her on a more honest and deeper level. We are empathetic, and this type of communication builds trust. Mental illness is a mystery, and those of us who live with it are the only ones who can truly understand the world that exists within us. It is not expected of you to completely understand, however, it is expected that you support us on our journey.
I mean that is a rule in every relationship, right? There are parts of me that will always remain untamable, messy, and reckless; but I refuse to apologize for it anymore. I am a pusher! You have to understand that we live in a world that tells us we are unlovable which establishes a high wall up between you and her.
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However, it is a defense mechanism that signals the beginning of the end. If you are really into her, be patient, gain her trust without forcing it and when she pushes do not react. Mental health is one of the most significant and most relevant topics in our society today. Learn about the history of stigma, what advocates are doing today and get involved in the mental health community. Send her posts, articles or quotes pertaining to mental illness. We are a unique group of individuals. You may think a six pack will turn her on, but offer to do a 5k for a local mental health charity and see what happens.
Sometimes we run from our pain or recklessly behave. Remember you can only offer her support, and you cannot fix her. If it begins to take a toll on your mental health then definitely take a break from dating or the relationship. I am a woman with a mental illness; however, I understand that other people are not obligated to condone my reckless behavior at times because I have bipolar disorder. The stigma of mental illness makes people feel obligated to hide their condition. She wants to explain her diagnosis to friends and family at her own time. It is not your place to tell others unless she asks you to do so.
It is a very sensitive subject. She was born wild,and sometimes we need people like her. And she was always willing to burn for everything she has ever loved. Challenge is a part of life, whether you are dating someone with a mental illness or not. Do not freak the moment you notice a change in her emotional behavior. Overcoming these challenges will only make you and your relationship stronger. If it is too much for you to handle, then be honest with yourself. She may not be the right fit for you.
Do not set your relationship up for failure. If you go into anything assuming you are going to fail then most likely you will fail. People with mental illness can be extremely sexual at times. I know some of you are like Score! However, there will be periods where not much is happening between the sheets. It may be due to medication, or she is going through an episode of depression. Do not be offended or let it affect your self-esteem. We are so used to handling our internal struggle on our own that it comes naturally for us to feel the need to do so once in a while.
It is not a reflection of you or your relationship, unless you have obviously done something hurtful. Save her from your ignorance. Not to be harsh, but if you believe that mental illness is just some made up condition for people to use as an excuse, then dating a girl with a mental illness makes no sense.
If you love her put your personal bias about mental health to the side and educate yourself. Let go and grow. One of my favorite quotes is: It has helped me tremendously. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
‘So, you know I have bipolar?’ – the perils of dating with a mental health problem
Hopefully I will have more books to share in ! Bipolar Disorder Dating Tips. Gaslighted By My Boyfriend: Dating with Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar and Love Relationships: Like Liked by 1 person. I feel like this post was talking about me!
I have a mental illness blog and this is just so wonderful! Thank you for this post. Thank you so much Marley! I will definitely check out your blog. Sending love to you! First off thank you for being so honest with me, and you came to the right place.
What You Need to Know About Dating While Mentally Ill: A Guide By Mentally Ill Women
Women with bipolar disorder are magical in many ways, so I can understand your connection to this individual. Its interesting because the way you describe her actions are similar to my own. However, we do have the ability to make it very confusing for others to understand what we are thinking, which makes you insecure and conflicted Im sure. She is probably just busy doing other things.
The fact is she responded to you which means theres some type of interest there.