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- Dating in HCMC - is this normal or am I being scammed?, Ho Chi Minh City forum
She said we should go back to my hotel I'm staying at paid by company as having issues with my accomodation. Found it odd she was so comfortable to come alone to my room with me, at this point I actually thought she was a prostitute. For what it's worth I tried to kiss her then and she was very hesitant and then wanted to go back out. We had a few drinks just in the bar of my hotel in the lobby. We were having great conversation and seemed to connect well, towards the end she hinted at going back to the room again but I ended up getting her an actual vinasun taxi back to her place.
I'm just skeptical that she seemed so keen to sleep with me as she is absolutely jaw dropping in terms of looks. I have not much confidence when it comes to me and women so I tend to overanalyse everything. How naive can you be? Hey OP, I loved reading your story as it's very typical but still quite entertaining. I'm not implying I'm the ultimate reference, just that I understand what you're going through.
Who can really know what's in her head. First of all, she speaks English, it means she's probably ambitious and set on meeting Westerners or Caucasians.
You represent money to her, probably an ATM with two legs, so get used to her expecting you to pay for stuff. I'm not sure what's the problem here. She wants to go back to your room and have sex? Well, just go for it. If you learn she's a prostitute, then don't give her any money, it's not your fault. Just make sure you always spend the night at YOUR hotel, not at some place she chooses. From my point of view, that would not be a safe move.
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Maybe she just wants to be "treated well" in exchange for her "affection". Seems like a very good deal to me! Are you looking into having a truthful woman and afraid of getting hurt or something? Then I'll suggest you learn some Vietnamese, take the time to learn about the culture, and approach the dating scene with that new knowledge so that you can evaluate better if she's worth it or not. Right now you're just meat to the pasture if you're not careful. Not sure what you mean?? For context I'm in my mid 20's and she in her early 20's so not a massive age gap. After spending more time with her I kind of dismissed the idea of her being a prostitute.
She wasn't very aggressive in getting us to go back to the room, more just dropping hints. I'm thinking just more of a high maintenance, white guy chaser at the most. Anyway, I just wanted to sense check. As there were a few things like the aforementioned, and also towards the end of the date she was quite affectionate in public holding hands, kissing which I know is not really the norm for Vietnamese dating from what I've heard anyway.
You already have your red flags Follow thru as your wallet can; it becomes more obvious over time, not less. Can you play chess? A master wins by losing. What would you consider red flags? That's what I'm trying to discern in this thread.
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For what it's worth, back in Australia even though I don't have he highest level of confidence I still managed to do quite well in the dating department. So I don't look like the hunchback of Notre dame with a fat wallet. The "high maintenance, white guy chaser" still must give in order to get: Even the game-players give up and get married much later in life so hope is the last to die.
But it still does. Checking to see if you have won the lottery? Your doubts and uncertainty will protect you. I would say that this girl knows how things work and has a lot of experience. It's all up to you to decide if this is a short term fling or something that could become more serious. From what you have written,I doubt she is the type of girl who wants to get serious and stay in a monogamous relationship.
I may be wrong,but having stayed single till the ripe old age of 55,I have dated my fair share of ladies over the last 38 years.
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Be careful and watch out for spiked drinks in your hotel room. Thanks for the advice. She keeps going on about how previous partners have come and had short flings with her and left, but she wants someone who will stay and have steady relationship. So take that for what it's worth. She is in her early twenties and has had several relationships, that in itself is not a good sign. At the end of the day, use common sense and all will be fine. As with many expats here, I can tell you of many bad relationships here, many that could have been avoided if the guy used his brain and not his small friend downstairs to make decisions.
I've got to totally agree with colinoscapee. No offence, but I wouldn't go out with a girl like that unless it was purely for fun. It would be better to not rush into a relationship and wait for a nice girl to come along. That means someone that maybe hasn't dated at all, or if yes then only one local guy.
I wouldn't date a girl who had been out with other western guys because that is an incredibly bad sign. I also wouldn't date a girl who either drinks or smokes. And I'd go for someone who was obviously a good girl. I'd also only go out with someone who was educated at least to university level. And as you so rightly pointed out, any girl willing to jump into bed so easily is not the sort of girl that I'd want to hang out with unless purely for fun. Maybe this is my own personal taste, but I think I'm not the only one. Too many western guys get taken in too easily.
Sorry buddy but I'd give her a miss.
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Just my opinion, but good luck anyway. To be honest I'm thinking of just going down the fun route with this one assuming she's cool with that, but from what I can gather she wants a relationship so don't want to lead her down the garden path. Honestly, when you said earlier that she has had several flings with other guys, it really means that those guys just see her as a girl for fun, or that she is not faithful and goes out with other guys.
But whatever, even if you go out with her just for fun, don't go catching something nasty that you can't get rid of, and as colinoscapee said, watch out for spiked drinks.
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There are lots of girls out there who may not be prostitutes but also not good girls. Won't be nice waking up with your phone, money and credit cards gone. So be careful and have fun. To have fun ur worthy of a prostitute instead of. You met a beautiful woman, via a dating site, you had a good time, she was friendly, honest, English speaking, that as dated expats, none worked out and that now wants a long term relationship.
Boy, that's a problem I hope to have everytime I meet a female. Let's hope that you just didn't drop the ball, you may just have punted it. If so I would suggest that although it might be considered inappropriate in the West, your best prospects would be at work. I was married almost my entire time in Vietnam, but when I taught in public middle school, I certainly noticed that several local English teachers in particular were both attractive and friendly. You are much more likely to find a nice girl that way. After all, WORK is a 4-letter word Welcome to Vietnam, BT Actually not all Vietnamese [or any nationality] have identical brains.
Young city women will be more modern than their traditional mothers.
Dating in HCMC - is this normal or am I being scammed?, Ho Chi Minh City forum
Read some abundance mindset and pua material for confidence. I think I'm just being overly paranoid to be honest. Will give this girl the benefit of the doubt. I'm just scared she might be one of those psycho chicks that falsely accuse guys with rape after sleeping with them or something else sinister. I'll continue to err on the side of safety I think you will too.
Keep your hand on your wallet. Think with your big head not the little one. Don't jump in at the deep end. Keep an open mind, not an open wallet. Read the advice given by other members here and learn from it. And as Bazza states, err on the side of safety. Be careful and do not use a plastic bag like this couple: How long do you stay here in Vietnam to know well the vietnam women? I am looking for a nice man to make a relationship. I am Sagittarius, cm 6' 0'' , 95 kg lbs. I am an easy going single guy, who is self employed. When I have time I like going walking in the hills. Living in the West Coast of Scotland I often have to wear good water proof clothes when out walking, Spring is a gr..
I am Scorpio, cm 5' 11'' , 80 kg lbs. Have fun while hanging out. I dont typically take relationship seriously so we can go further if we spark emotionally.. Anne-Ng , 34 y. I am Leo, cm 5' 0'' , 48 kg lbs. He should be a tolerant man who is caring and understanding.
I am Cancer, cm 5' 6''. Drinking a craft beer and listening to Live Acoustic. PaulD89 , 29 y. I am Libra, cm 5' 11'' , 64 kg lbs. I like to travel, learn, teach and read books. I am looking for a friend or that special person. Regardless, I am open minded an.. PhoebePham , 32 y. I am Capricorn, cm 5' 0'' , 45 kg lbs.