Dating someone who has different interests

Being with someone who has opposite interests means you can take turns in deciding what kind of date you want to have. Dates will always be.
Table of contents

I have, will, discourse on: That, to me, still constitutes an intellectual discussion. I aim for breadth of knowledge, and then seek out depth in pockets that interest me. The development of the musical scale? The 'discovery' of the periodic table? The science of sex? The limits of rationality and its implications? For example, my father is an electrician turned electrical power engineer.

I can not beat his decades of experience in the field. I can still have a genuine and enthusiastic discussion about it though. You're right, that's where the difference is. I'm more interested in depth, as most topics have sufficient depth already built into them, and by just skimming the surface, you don't really stumble upon something noteworthy or interesting. I feel that this can go either way. As long as you don't openly bash the other's likes and interests, it can really open up the chance to share your passions with each other.

You also have the opportunity to discover something that you both like together!

Want to add to the discussion?

I am a former ballet dancer and current artsy-type, boyfriend is an engineer who works with lasers. He keeps me up to date on cool scientific discoveries and is on a mission to find a video game i'll enjoy.

Issues With Common Interests With Your Partner

I take him to watch my dance friends' performances. We both talk about politics and the economy and world events and artificial intelligence and self-driving cars and minimum wage protests and movies and I can talk about plenty of things. The point I am making is that my fundamental interests, which may or may not be related to my career are what I wish to speak about with an SO. If your boyfriend doesn't care to talk sciency stuff with you, so be it, maybe he just doesn't care much about the subject. I'd rather be able to share what I'm passionate about in more than just layman's terms.

Then date women in your field. It's silly to date a, let's say, graphic designer and then complain that she isn't passionate about neuroscience or whatever you say you're into. At first I was pretty sure she wouldn't be interested in Dr. Gamer von Nolife, but over time I actually grew to like hanging out in town and being away from the computer. Trying new things is something I'd never say no to.

My qualms are with the intellectual differences.

Consider the differences between someone who's put in a good amount of time into certain academic pursuits, say neuroscience and programming - and someone who hasn't. Person A's life and interests have gone in a certain direction, while person B's went in another.

9 Reasons People With Different Interests Make The Romantic Couples

Because these interests make up a substantial portion of Person A's life, the relationship between A and B, no matter how swell, will be missing a certain intellectual aspect that is very important to person A. Here's the way I see it. I'm a coder by day. That has molded my brain in certain ways. I look for logical connections.

Happy couples only need 2 things in common | Revelist

I want to problem-solve. I tend towards linear "If A then B" thought. So, I encounter someone that's much more into the arts and emotions. What do I bring to the table for him? How can I problem-solve his worldview in a way that stimulates my intellect while at the same time appreciating his artistic value? Oh hey - this is intellectually stimulating for me! Nope, it's not coding. But, my brain still engages. Do I want someone to come home to that can hash out the intricacies of recursion with me? So, the challenge I would offer up to you is how can you use that great big intellect and all that schooling to engage in what interests her?

If you both are willing to accept that your interests are very different but you're ok with that, it can work. I dated a woman who was big into the Socialist group in NY. I'm definitely not a Socialist. She was a cheating ho-bag, but not because of her stupid political beliefs. You are still young. There are so much to try and explore. If you like the person enough, you would find enjoyment doing things with that person and slowly develop common interests.

You don't have to match on All fronts, but you have to have enough commonalities to be able to have conversations. Then you need enough interest in them as a person to be willing to learn about the things they like enough to talk intelligently about them, and they need to have enough interest in you as a person to learn about the things you like enough to talk about them.

Sometimes dating someone who's different pays off in both the enjoyable relationship with them, and learning about some fun new topic you never had an interest in before. When I experienced a true intellectual companion as a GF I knew that I would never be happy in a relationship without that connection. I would say that most of the time, such a big difference in occupation is an indicator for big differences in the things that actually matter values and beliefs, lifestyle, etc.

Welcome to Reddit,

In that case I agree with you. But I also think that sometimes if you date someone who does something different from you, you can be surprised by how much you do have in common, and then it can be really exciting: I agree with you to an extent. If one is 'intellectually inclined' and takes a great deal of pleasure in deeper intellectual pursuits, then not having a partner similarly inclined I have found to be a real problem. It was a deep connection that I still miss to this day. Once experienced it is hard to have a relationship without it. Yeah I agree with what you're saying.

I also feel like the kind of connection that you're talking about is super important. I guess what I was trying to say was that what you do is a good but not perfect indicator for the likelihood of that sort of connection. I guess I've also had the reverse situation, where you go on a date with someone who is in science and has a similar world view, but it kind of ends up feeling a bit familiar and boring, and there's no spark. Those are my exact thoughts. It's a bit sad that the criteria cuts off so many otherwise amazing people.

You may be different than I. Some people don't need that deep intellectual connection to be happy in a relationship. I have discovered that I need that more than anything else, well that and a fit body and a pleasant disposition;-. No, see I don't think that's fair. What I'm saying, and what I think? Being with someone who has opposite interests means you can take turns in deciding what kind of date you want to have. If you have some differences in your preference for food, even letting your partner taste something he or she has never tasted before can be an adventure. Maybe you never use dip for anything while your partner always uses the dip for everything or you love singing while your partner would rather play an instrument for you than sing.

Discovering these complementary things make for cute moments with your partner and even funny ones at times. Different interests can spark a playful competitiveness in a relationship. Challenging each other can also mean having disagreements because of certain differences but using these differences to help the relationship grow and challenge each other to be a better person. Someone who has different interests is also most likely someone whose views are different from yours in one aspect or another.

This is an opportunity for you to see and understand things in a new light. Sam Landreth - www. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Sam Landreth — www. You are constantly introduced to new things Having a partner who has different interests means that both of you get the chance to introduce each other to new things.