If you meet someone who plays in a band who also has the internet, then a few minutes of scrolling through their Twitter feed in a toilet cubicle.
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- Advice From One Band Wife to Another
- 15 Reasons to Date Someone in a Band
- Advice From One Band Wife to Another
It's important to develop your own life because otherwise, you may end up very unhappy in the relationship, as the band will draw your partner away a good amount of time. If you're unhappy, the relationship isn't going to last.
Learn to not take things personally. If your partner is in a band, he or she may be moderately or even really famous. That means that you may have other people trying to cut into your time with them. You may also find that people are trying to get into bed with your partner. It can be a difficult part of the lifestyle to deal with for you, but it's part of being in a band.
Therefore, if you want to stay with your current partner, you have to decide to deal with this aspect of the relationship.
Advice From One Band Wife to Another
If your partner has the integrity not to cheat on you at home, he or she won't do it on the road, either. Being a band is a lot of work, and everyone around can be dragged in, including you. You need to know exactly what you're willing to do and lay that out clearly to your partner. For instance, you may be willing to help with setup, but you may not be willing to host the band every other night for a giant party.
You know you need enough sleep to feel good and be healthy. When you live someone who lives a bit of an alternative lifestyle, it may be more difficult to get the number of hours you need. However, getting enough sleep is important to relationship success because it helps you maintain self-control, which is essential for healthy relationships. Plus, it makes you happier overall, which in turn, contributes to the relationship. Eating a healthy diet is an important part of taking care yourself and being present in a relationship. When your partner is often away, it can be harder to motivate yourself to cook and eat healthily.
However, studies have shown that when you don't eat enough, for instance, it can make you angry and more aggressive in relationships. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Article Info wikiHow is a wiki similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are written collaboratively.
15 Reasons to Date Someone in a Band
Dating In other languages: Did this article help you? Believe me, I made that mistake for a long time until I realized it was hurting and not helping the situation. If you have advice on this, then let me know! This career choice effects everything we do as a family.
He has to listen to what you need and support you in following your dreams as well or it becomes very uneven. While I spend a lot of time supporting Todd, he spends just as much time supporting me and being willing to sacrifice on his end for my dreams and wellbeing. But, in the same way, he knows that I would never ask that unless I was really at the end of my rope. And hey, not everyone has to tour forever. Not everyone has to travel in music forever.
And just one more thought before I conclude this pep talk. And for good and bad, being a band wife is one of those things. Every couple really is different, and I love hearing about how you and Todd make it work. Thank you for your honesty in sharing about the dark days!! My husband is also in a band and has been for the last few years he was in one in college as well but took a few years off as we established careers etc… Luckily his current band does not tour so he is usually not away more than 2 days at a time while he goes to record.
He did travel for shows from , mostly just extended weekends. Even though my husband was never gone for as long as Todd is, I can really relate and appreciate these types of posts as I am sure other band wives do as well. Love your blog in general and your posts on ABM! I hope everything starts to look up for you regarding the flooring and bugs! I would highly recommend for any couples! Thanks so much for this post. My long-term boyfriend travels regularly with a band and is gone an average of weeks at a time.
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There have certainly been ups and downs and it takes a lot of trust and understanding to make it work. Good luck with the renovations! OMG I feel so bad for you! Wishing you much sunnier skies!! Oh, and I live in Nashville so if you need a helping hand with a rouge couch on the carport again let me know! Thank you for this!!! I can relate in a same but different way — my boyfriend of 3 years works in commercial photography and this year has been a huge travel year for him.
So I definitely have gone through those different phases like you talked about — I used to get angry at him on the phone and we would waste our only QT to talk fighting. And omg — trust.
Advice From One Band Wife to Another
I totally understand how you feel…. What makes them happy and fulfilled may not have the same effect on you, at the exact same time that it has an effect on them. Some people like to walk the same path as others, and others like to make their own. You are on your way to somewhere where they are not supposed to be and more than likely you lead a happier, more fulfilling life than them.
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Whenever I encounter a sly comment from another person women mostly, which is worse , I think about this. This post was so great to read. I was in a relationship with a touring punk musician for years and it was extremely hard for me. I wish I could have read this back then, it would have given me some much needed encouragement! I really appreciate and enjoyed this post! Even though we live under the same roof, it feels like we never see each other. So this post rang close to home. Thanks for being open and sharing your thoughts!
From one certified, bonified, professional worrier to another, thank you for such a heartfelt account of life as a band wife. My husband is a scientist and spends time away from home, too. My biggest struggle is not resenting him for being away — its not his choice — its his job. So, when I become a little crusty, I make sure to pull back and take a deep breath.
In the end, he does his job not only because he loves it, but its his calling…. This is such an awesome post. I so appreciate you opening up with honesty and vulnerability. It makes your blog feel so genuine. My husband was in the marine corps infantry for the first 4 years of our marriage and I feel like between trainings and deployments our lifestyle had some similarities for sure. Its that feeling of being on a team without your team mate that just sucks.
I would have special yoga classes and snow board trips and fun things that I enjoy that my husband may not love as much as I do. Then even though I was bummed that he was gone I still had my Sunday soccer game or next months snow board trip to look forward to. Hang in there and good luck with the bugs! My husband is no longer in a band but he travels months out of the year for his job.
He started traveling for work 3 years ago and has added on a few more weeks each year, this year being the worst. I am navigating my way through it and learning to love our crazy life. Thank you for being honest and open about your life. You are a gem. Thank you so much for your post! My boyfriend of almost 14 years! Thank you for being you and sharing — I needed this! Hey Laura, I feel you! Even though my other half is home almost every night, I definitely identify with this struggle of jar opening!
Thank you for also sharing the bad, and well done for being such a good band wife this post makes me feel bad for my latest comment…. I feel you, lady! I really enjoyed reading this. I am not in the same situation, but due to the circumstances I am living alone with furry friends! Actually, your topic is very universal, it is about how to live your live on your own and be in a firm relationship with someone at the same time. I love your blog! I know how hard it is…….
My boyfriend travels every other month to China for work and I hate it. If you create a new tune and want to try it even at midnight, you will always have a partner for your jamming sessions. You can share your passion for music with someone who really understands it. The one thing that musicians will always have is a clean heart filled with kindness. They are so well in touch with their emotions that it pains them to see somebody in sorrow or misery.
You will not find any hatred for others in their hearts, just pure unadulterated love for music and passion for making it reach millions of other people. Your email address will not be published.
They will always have a great music collection. You get to go backstage. You get to see them perform live on stage. You get some space for yourself. They always have a close-knit group of friends you can hang out with. Musicians always sound sexy and intelligent. They let you explore your creative side as well. They have great hand-eye coordination. You might feature in some of their songs. You never know they might make it really big in the music world.
The celebrity status you get at gigs makes you feel nice.