The duggar dating rules

A look at what the Duggar family considers appropriate in terms of affection The Duggars' Rigid Rules for Dating and Marriage Have Always.
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Photos Add Image Add an image Do you have any images for this title? Edit Cast Episode credited cast: Herself as Jill Duggar Anna Duggar Herself Jim Bob Duggar Edit Storyline In this episode we delve deeper into Duggar courtship rituals where handholding is a privilege, saving your first kiss for you wedding day is a must, and chaperones are always tagging along. Edit Details Release Date: The Duggars see courting not as simply having fun with another person, but as a way to determine whether that person is suited to become your future spouse. That being said, all Duggar kids are encouraged to ask as many questions as possible during their dates to get a better idea of who is the person sitting across the table.

At times, this can actually turn into a full-on interrogation, for example, like when Jill brought a three-page list of questions on her date with Derick and the questions covered every subject from his faith and family to his drinking and smoking habits. It can get pretty intimidating to see a person bringing such a list on a date and one has to admit that it really kills the romance a little bit.

Apparently, the Duggars consider it to be way too intimate and it could potentially lead to all kinds of other unwanted activities and physical contact, which is against their faith. If anyone actually tries to get too handsy during one of the dates, the chaperones that are always present on all of the dates have to report that immediately to Jim Bob and then he is the one to deal with the whole situation, which cannot possibly be a pleasant experience.

So if you thought that there was a chance that some secret hand-holding still occurs despite all the rules, you were probably wrong because it is very hard to hide anything from the Duggar parents. You know how the girls often spend hours and hours preparing for their date with their favorite guy?

The Duggars believe modern dating is much different than their way of courting

In fact, they have to dress modestly and any kind of remotely provocative clothing pieces are strictly forbidden. It helps to avoid the physical contact altogether and it also helps the guys keep their thoughts pure because, according to the Duggars, the impure thoughts definitely count as sins as well. This especially applies to the ladies because, according to Michelle Duggar, they have to keep their minds clear and their judgment cannot be clouded in any way.

If you have ever seen a photo of the Duggar family toasting to something and you noticed the glasses filled with something that looked like the wine or the champagne, you were wrong; there was definitely no alcohol in those glasses. The Duggars believe that alcohol use is bound to lead to immoral or irresponsible behavior so rather than risking it, they decided to forbid the family members from drinking it altogether. For the unwed couples of the Duggar family, chest-to-chest hugs are a big no-no.

According to Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, standard hugs as we know them are simply too big a temptation for the young people and all temptations like that that could eventually lead to impure thoughts or immoral behavior have to be stopped before they even start. The only kind of hugs that is allowed before the couple ties the knot is from the side, and it has to be prompt and completely innocent. Any other kind of hug, touching, or basically, any other physical display of affection is strictly off-limits before they say, "I do.

In the family where hand-holding and hugging are strictly forbidden before the marriage, it is only logical that kissing is off-limits as well. So while the rest of the worlds enjoys their goodnight kisses on their porch once their date is over, the Duggar kids will never get to experience that moment. Maybe it is true when they say that everything feels better when you have to wait for it.


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According to Michelle Duggar, it is very important to set boundaries the very moment the courting begins in order to make sure that both parties are completely clear on what is allowed and what is not. Michelle claims that emotions get heated the more you know someone and the more you spend the time together and that is why it is so important to set things straight right at the beginning of courting because it will only get harder later in the relationship.

While numerous young couples often hit the clubs together to dance and have fun, for the Duggar kids, dancing is completely off limits. The Duggars listen to gospel music together and all other music genres are strictly forbidden in their home. Also, everybody should avoid visiting the places where other kinds of music are played so, of course, nightclubs are definitely a no-no. Dancing is not allowed at all— not inside their home and especially not out in the public.


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So if somebody wanted to take a Duggar girl on a date that involved dancing, that would probably be the last time he ever saw her. That type of fun is considered completely immoral and inappropriate. Once the Duggar kids are through with the courting stage and they decide to get married, they have to be well-aware that they are in it for life because the divorce is never an option among the members of the Duggar family.

No matter how bad the marriage gets, no matter how much one or both of the partners want to part their ways, it is strictly forbidden by their faith and their own rules.

17 Kids and Counting: Duggar Dating Rules 1/3 - Dailymotion Video

The Duggars take marriage very seriously and that is why during the courting stage all family members are encouraged to voice their opinion on the couple and whether the relationship will, in their mind, last or not. However, once the partners say, "I do," there is no going back. That is definitely one of the reasons why they should take as much time before the marriage as they can to be sure they are ready to spend a lifetime together.

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Michelle's Take: Modesty and Courtship - 19 Kids and Counting

I love everything about you. From your laugh, to your smile, your beautiful eyes, your sense of humor, your incredible fashion sense, your adventurous spirit, your diligence, your compassionate heart, your selflessness, your love for those around you, and most of all, your love for Christ. You make me long to know Him more. I love you with all of my heart and always will. Love your girl forever, Jing.

When it comes to hand-holding, that also must wait until the couple is engaged. There have been a few times the Duggars have broken this rule while courting, however. Double dates are a fun and modern way to hang out with your friends and love interest at the same time — but a chaperoned date is an entirely different scenario. Michelle and Jim Bob require that all courtship dates have a chaperone.