Dating while at west point

Now, let's dive into the first Reader Question! Today's Reader Questions is all about staying positive while dating a West Point cadet!.
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This gigantic mess hall is now filled with people and they all look gorgeous in their formal dresses and uniforms! Michael introduced me to his sponsor and he remarked about how this is the exact same date that he and his wife attended his th night so many years ago. I just nodded, smiled, and tried to be as polite as possible.


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Michael continued to mingle and introduce me to more people. When it was time to take our seats, he sat at the head of the table and began passing food since all the serving utensils and water pitchers were placed in front of him. There, at my seat, my name is hand written on a card. Michael explains that it was supposed to be typed, but the cadet in charge of that had been kicked out of West Point for academic reasons and had attempted suicide recently. I wondered how much pressure the cadets, the army, and their families place on them that suicide is a legitimate option for failing.

I was thankful that this is not the case for my boyfriend. I then noticed the class crest etched on the wine glasses and I excitedly filled my glass with sparkling grape juice. Several toasts are made and we eat our dinner. I expected a long boring speech, but from the little I could hear, it was quite the opposite. Once the speaker was finished, we applaud and eventually were dismissed to attend the hop.

All throughout dinner we had been discussing whether to attend the hop or just to skip it to go back to the city. So instead we took some pictures and headed back to his room.

My dress was too thin, and I needed a thicker coat. He told us we can wait in his room while he went to get the car. This is the perfect opportunity for me to hide a bottle cap that has now become a game between us. I choose to place the cap in the breast pocket of the shirt he has never worn. He never did find it and I had to tell him where it was. Once he finally returned with the car, we crammed 8 people into his 5 person jeep.

We stopped at a liquor store on the way back to the hotel and once we were back we went up to the club in our hotel. The drinks there were too expensive though and we went back to the rooms. It soon became apparent that these cadets never drank. We drank, laughed, and played games all while just enjoying the moment. In an attempt to play matchmaker with my roommate and her date, some of the other girlfriends started a game of 7 minutes in heaven. When it was our turn, we swapped our pants and I beg him not to rip my new jeans. As it got later into the night, we ran across the street for some snacks and then made it to bed.

I knew that tomorrow this would all end and I would return to Indiana, but for now the world was perfect and I was content to just live in the moment. Your email address will not be published. Experience a day in the life of a military significant other! The th Night was last modified: My husband was not able to because of the structure of the school so the school offers him and his classmates a way to start their lives. Honestly, it is no different than the Army offering a 30k enlistment bonus. It is those men and women that graduate from West Point and those men and women who enlist into the military that give you that right.

Maybe you should think again who you bash when you are practicing that right. All I know is that I would rather talk to other girls going through the same thing as me than to my friends who go to the same school as their boyfriends who will never understand. So before judging these girls, you might want to really look into it, or try dating a West Point cadet.

I just happened on this blog, and thought it would be nice to put in a perspective on USMA wives from a female Army officer. They mostly are sorority girls, and getting married to a West Point man is the ultimate success of their lives. I even had one tell me that point-blank, after about 4 glasses of wine loosened her tongue. One thing that surprised me about them was the way they seemed to form some sort of new adult sorority after getting the ring on their finger. And as we all know, sororities are very rarely nice. And if there is any USMA girlfriend reading this who resents hearing this — try being an enlisted wife, or a female enlisted soldier, and then come back and tell me what you think.

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I kind of view these girls as holdovers from the s. If you think about it, the Army is one of the very few places left in America for a wife to actually get to play the perfect Donna Reed housewife, and get absolute institutional support for that role — so long as they play it right no excessive whining, no excessive weight gain, etc.

Another thing that surprised me about them was their blatant racism. I actually once got an apology from a USMA guy who was married to one of the most racist chicks I have ever encountered — and of course who had never worked a day in her life one evening during a field exercise, for something that his wife had said to me the previous month. My impression is that the nice ones are the ones who are a minorities, b came from poorer families, or c just got the good genes. That snotty attitude persists quite strongly today, let me tell you. As far as jobs for these girls go — to be fair, it is hard for any Army wife to have a solid career, unless she is in the military herself.

The frequent moves every years make it really difficult. I am a 16 year old high school jr. My boyfriend my best friend just left a few weeks ago for cadet basic training. My boyfriends mom told me about the usma girlfriends website and i was overjoyed to find this community of people who went through this experience. All of their advice is so helpful and thoughtful. The girls who created that site that you are bashing are just trying to help others.

These first 3 weeks of my bf being gone have been some of the most lonely and difficult times of my life. Finding people who know how im feeling is such a relief. To say that WP is not that intense…ya because having 90 seconds to say goodbye to all of your loved ones, 3 calls home all summer, and you know not to mention an 18 year old giving up 9 years of their lives to OUR country. My boyfriend and I were not raised in military families in my high school most kids end up partying at pitt or psu. My boyfriend had scholorship opportunities from numerous ivy league universities. He could have easily chosen an safe route to being successful and enjoying collage like most kids.

The United States of America is as strong and safe as it is today because of men and women who give up their freedom to fight for yours. Would you even be allowed to write this blog. I respect your opinion but in return i think you should show some respect of our men and women at usma and the people who support them. It seems a bit absurd to be dealing out advice on where to get your hair done, how to properly address a letter, or how to be patient when waiting for the phone to ring.

I can also understand how some of these girls would be offended. Never a fun thing. However, with the help of the website, I was able to find a site that will deliver a fun birthday gift right to his door. Yes, it is a bit goofy but I know it will bring a smile to his face. West Point cadets go through many extremes.

Not only are they required to be academically advanced but they are also required to train to become the best military officers they can possibly be. This requires strength and endurance of both the mind and body. Now as for their girlfriends; USMA girlfriends come in a range of varieties. Most of these women, I do believe, however, deserve respect. It takes a lot of emotional strength to make any relationship work but I can honestly say, it takes much more to make a USMA relationship work.

It is not easy to communicate long distance or to miss your significant other so much that it physically hurts or to even feel guilty for having such emotions because you know that your boyfriend is enduring much more difficult circumstances. These women are loyal and committed; qualities any man would want their woman to possess, military or not. Lastly, I am somewhat amazed at the lack of maturity that has gone in to composing the above comments. I can also understand the frustration of the women who are being criticized for being supportive of their men.

Only then, should we make a comment while trying to avoid bitterness and hostility.

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It would be unfair to accuse a woman of being unintelligent for sticking by her man, a blogger of being a liberal fool or anybody of being jealous that someone is just in a better situation. Think before you type. There are little bits of what everyone has said that make sense. Obviously it is very difficult but only slightly more than any other long distance relationship. It IS incredibly hard for them going to school there, but that has nothing to do with this blog. The only thing that really bothered me is how much you all have been stereotyping West Point girlfriends.

They are most certainly not all white, and definitley not all racist. I have met girls from every race. I am white myself, but my boyfriend is Korean, and many of the other girls are in interracial relationships too. And almost all of the girls I have met are planning on having a career, including myself. Just because your boyfriend is a cadet or in the army you do not have to put your life on hold.

I know the first post was over a year ago, but like everyone else I had to add my two cents. A little background first. We were both attending a bible study group at West Point a long story that I will not get into. Even if he can take weekend leave, he cannot leave until after his Friday commitments usually around 4 pm and must be back by taps on Sunday 11 pm for 2nd and 1st classmen so you may get lucky and see you boyfriend on 3 day weekends.

You cannot hold their hands or show any other PDA and cannot share the same flat surface ie you cannot sit next to him on a park bench when the cadet is in uniform. You usually cannot go into the barracks and on the rare occasion that you can, the door must remain open and, again, you cannot share the same flat surface. The cadets have little down time and lights must be turned off by midnight. An Academy girlfriend must also be on her best behavior or the cadet may find himself walking hours for something SHE did!

This is just the beginning as life as an Army wife is not easy with the separations my husband left for training in OK 4 days after we got back from the honeymoon and I am here in FL and the knowledge that your husband may soon deploy to a hostile zone among other things.

I also agree that it is not fair to judge all Academy girlfriends the same. I am not white and I have as MS in Microbiology. There are many others like me who do have a brain and do use them. I am independent yet kind and caring and many have told me that I am so.


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I am married to an Army officer, but I am a liberal. Dispite some of the useful tips the site does provide, sorry Mandy, but it is a sorority of girls who think they are the elite among all girlfriends because they date a USMA cadet thus you are not a member because you seem like a normal person.

A society whose identity is based on the guy you are dating; gag. Dating a cadet is not the ONLY requirement for being a member. One of the female cadets was even dating another cadet so you would think that would qualify her. They figured I might have a chance because I was not a cadet; no luck. They throw around terms like Firstie and Buckner as if they really know what it was like to be a Firstie or go through Buckner do not ask me because I do not know. It continues, like Samantha pointed out, after they get married and I am sure she is not far off.

I would disagree that the West Point graduates cheat more frequently then the normal population, though. Nothing about having guard duty from 10 pm to 10 am and still being expected to go to class after you get off, a summer vacation that is only 30 days long, having to go to class sick, etc. Well, after about a month of chatting online, he out of the blue asked if he could take me to dinner.


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  4. I was a bit skeptical but I went out with him. We went out on a few dates, then he had to go home for the summer, leaving me in New York completely miserable because I missed his company so much. He was in Virginia, then Ft. Benning for Airborne School then Korea. I just felt like I needed to post something about this because I think that any young person that goes to West Point deserves the most utmost respect.

    He was and probably still is an arrogant SOB, but getting on, I came across that site and attempted to join. The guy I was seeing and sort of engaged to at the time was giving me a hard time and I wanted to join for the camaraderie with girls in the same situation. I was pretty pissed and totally appalled that the group could have such policies when all I wanted was some people to talk to. The girls, at the time, were not very nice to me. I can remember getting some not very nice emails from them when I attempted to explain my situation.

    Well, until about two years ago my ex and I went back and fourth with arguing and trying to work things out, with my pouring out my heart and him pouring out lies and bs, albeit in a weird way, before I decided to walk away from the situation. The girls do not need the website. Follow your heart and what your head tells you to do. I am NOT against the military, in fact, I am a huge supporter of it. I love what our soldiers have done for the country and I am proud to be an American.

    Just do not sugarcoat what dating a cadet is, that is all I am asking. Damn, this made me mad. Who the hell gave you the right to insult these women? What the hell is their offense? Caring about something greater than themselves? This is what psychologists call projection. You think that normal people are intolerant of you, when in fact, you are simply projecting your intolerance onto them.

    You want that 30, dollars? You wouldnt be able to do it. First thing I would like to clarify is: My boyfriend is a cadet at USMA. But the site is silly, I agree. We are both confident in each other, and reach out to one another not strangers or members of a website during tough times. We make it work on our own. I am not like that at all. I am actually attending college on full financial aid support which means I will be paying it back after graduation and intend to have a career in the FBI or DEA. He is not going to spend it all, or buy a new car, or anything silly.

    Its not fair to those of us out there who are anything but that like me. I, personally, do not want to serve in the Army. But I support those who do, its a tough life, and a huge committment, to say the least. But my boyfriend tells me all the time how much having me in his life helps him, every single day. The impact we have on them. And to that same person, your comment on infidelity was just silly. There is no need to spark suspicion in anyone.

    I, for one, am confident in him as well as myself, and never even think about it.

    A Day In the Life of a West Point Girlfriend: The th Night | Long Distance Relationships

    And its also called LOVE. Its silly for any girl to worry constantly about her boyfriend — that makes for a highly unhealthy relationship. That being said, its very late. Our plan is to live life averagely, and retire happily with enough saved up money to do so. Hard is an understatement, but we prove how strong we are and sacrifice more than most for the one we love.

    The look on her face is complacent and her thoughts are thousands of miles away at an academy with endless rules and a rigorous schedule. You catch a glance at the Army Strong sticker on the bumper of her car but think nothing of it. I am the young woman who tries to concentrate during her classes and do the job she gets paid to do. I am the young woman who hates sleeping alone. I am the young woman who closes her eyes and pretends that the man she loves is laying right there next to her, his arms wrapped around her. I am the young woman who tries not to miss him, who tries not to cry whenever she hears his name or even the mention of soldiers.

    I am the woman who is terrified that the love of her life will be sent off to war. I am the young woman who knows the toughest job in the corps, who knows too well the importance of a kiss, a hug, a smile. I know that these things in life must be savored, because nothing is promised. I will not sit here and attack you. First I want to address the person who started this blog. Our group is like any other group. People join groups because they share common interests, or need help with something. That is what our group is for…to share experiences and advice.

    Regarding the cow loan you wrote about: I think that much money should be given out to them to spend as they so please. As cadets though…this money is typically used to help the cadets get on their feet after they are commissioned. Most of them invest the money accordingly. You can express yourself freely as can I. I am mixed and have no white in me. I am protestant, and attended a public high school.

    Now this is for Kar who does not think West Point is all that tough. Let me just make a quick reference to your t-shirt comment. Everything u do is in this massive schedule that u have to follow or you can be punished if u decide not to, you want to go out on the weekend or anywhere else for that matter…u have to ask ur college, You have loads of HW every night and of course its a larger and more difficult load than the HW you would otherwise get in a civilian college; because most of the kids up there were in the top of their class in high school so you have to compete for grades and you only have till someone comes in your room and tells you lights need to be out.

    You have to worry about leading young men and women when u graduate and bringing them back home safe and sound. I can go on for ever on this, just some food for thought. It seems like you assumed most of us had no aspirations in life and wanted to live off our husbands. Stay at home moms are incredible people who devote their lives to taking care of their children, husbands and homes.

    I thought the site had some helpful information and I figured I would join to see what some of these girls had to say. In doing so I have gotten some really helpful information. My fiance would always wait until the week before to tell me when formals were. All I had to do was simply ask some of the other girls when they were so that I had time to get a plane ticket at a reasonable cost.

    I also inquired about the full details of events for certain weekends, how the weather is in NY during the events, etc. Never spent the weekend together, never gossipped at a table with them. I have found some of these snotty girls on the site that I do not necessarily care for, but its about the same ratio as you would find in any situation.

    There will always be the snotty ones, and there will the nice humble ones. Interpret that as you want. I love the boy, not the uniform or profession. Or when he just needs a break from being a plebe. I disagree with most of what she says. It is a bunch of stuck up, melodramatic prisses that live vicariously through their BFs.

    Give me a flipping break. The melodrama really drives me up the wall. While I do know some snooty girls that date my peers, the wives i. If being with your West Pointer is such a heavy cross to bear, break it off.