Why is dating wrong in islam

Dating as we know it in the West is forbidden under Islam. We're not allowed to date, we've been separated, we haven't developed.
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A Month of Islam and Multiculturalism in Britain: July Dating Sites. Many Muslims believe dogs are impure and haram strictly forbidden. As a Muslim, I believe in the concept of heaven and hell. On online gay dating site, these are usually men who start their private messages. Is dating haram or is sex haram? Which one is haram or both and why? He said that if he never has sex until hes married then he will never do.

Are all Muslim marriages arranged? Muslim Dating to Marriage: I'm a Muslim and I know that I really like this girl. I want her to technically be my girlfriend.


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I know for a fact I wouldn't have sex until I am married. I wouldn't touch her or really hold her hand, probably just hug her occasionally which isn't sexual at all. We would always have supervision if we were to be "hanging out". So in reality it's just a title. The boyfriend and girlfriend thing.

Shouldn't that be allowed? Thanks for the comment. My take on what you said echoes what the article said: Why walk that fine line? Why not just take the safer route and pursue her the halal way rather than the iffy way where you're always wondering in the back of your mind if you're doing things right or not. Wondering if Allah will be pleased with the way you're handling things or not? Cause the way Islam is, the option is not "hanging out" with a girl you like, it's marrying the girl to avoid any premarital hanky panky.

A hug again may seem innocent but it can trigger the need for more contact. Shaitan always wants things to escalate. He wants hangouts with friends to be hangouts alone with the girl, he wants hugs to rush into kisses, he wants kisses to rush into sex. But he gets no satisfaction when that guy and girl are married cause it's all good deeds then.

Kissing is suddenly a good deed, touching, holding all of it is not a sin anymore and that'll piss him off but most importantly: If you really like this girl enough to see if she can be your mate then go that route. Ideally, you'd go to her parents and let them know your interest and court her. Get your parents involved, set something up, get to know eachother a little better through talking and if you guys click then don't hesitate and get married.

Doesn't matter if you're young, still a student and broke because I got married young 21 , still a student college sophomore and broke lived with my mom and dad! But the sunnah is to marry young! I really enjoyed your article. The biggest losers in this dating game are women, many men just date and take attention from them without taking their responsibility of future.

Good men will always go the right way by sending proposal and getting married. May Allah guide us!. Getting the perspective of a young person like u on this topic is truly inspiring. I don't feel alone anymore. I like this guy and he likes me. His religion doesnt let him date ag a young age.

Boyfriends, Girlfriends, & Temptation [Juz 12] - Nouman Ali Khan - Quran Weekly

How old do u have to be to start dating. Im assuming he's Muslim since you posted this on an article regarding to Dating and Muslims. The age for dating shouldn't matter. Ideally he isn't supposed to date in the modern sense at all. Courting is getting to know eachother and hanging out to see if you are compatible but with supervision so you don't get into kissing and other intimate things, saving it for marriage. If marriage is not on your mind right now but you like this guy, I suggest you just lay off of him and wait until you're older and more mature to come back to thinking about marriage.

Dating isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Why can only males marry non Muslims? Seems unfair to me. Is the love of a women not the same as a man's? Are we not all equals? What's the difference of a man and a women or a christian and a Muslim? Do we not all believe in the same god? I'm not a scholar but from what I've learned the main reason is the preservation of the child's faith.

But it's really a lot more complex than that so I'll link you to a website that dives into the questions you had very comprehensively. I really don't know. Again just based off of my opinion there would just be a clash of faiths when marrying someone from a different religion. A Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim Male may have difficulties keeping and following her religion.

Her husband may want her to eventually convert to his faith, or would want her not to pray, or to stop wearing the headscarf and to serve and pork and alcohol. It'd just be a messy situation for the most part which in general is why most of the time interfaith marriages don't work out.

I'd check that article out again that I linked because it answers it way better than I could. What happens if we did all this already. Not going sexual but hugging and holding hands. Is there any chance of forgivenes. I'm ready to stop everything. I dont want to be with the losers in the hereafter. Of course there is. If you are ready to stop everything like you say and turn back to Him and ask for forgiveness, then He will certainly let all of your mistakes in the past go and wipe your slate clean.

Pursue a mate using the proper channels. Do not despair of the Mercy of Allah: Turn to your Lord in repentance and bow to His Will, before the Penalty comes upon you: He is a very decent man but we both are young he is a muslim and so am i. If you just want my honest advice, tell this boy that if he really wants to prove himself, he should go through the proper channels. If he says no or starts backtracking or wanting to keep it just between us, tell him "don't bother" and move on away from him. You say he's Muslim then he should try approaching this the Muslim way.

If a Muslim male is interested in a Muslim female, go through the parents and let them know his intentions. Then you guys can meet and have little "halal dates" with your parents aware and present at a distance for you two to talk and get to know one another. If you two click, and are mature enough to go all the way, then let your parents know and get moving on to the next step: Tell him it's this way or the highway. Even though it wasn't exactly what I was looking for, it did help me out a lot in enforcing what I already believe.

Maybe you can answer some of my other questions. I do go to school and I have been working part time at a call center for the past 2 years. I keep to myself at work which is why I am having a hard time coming to terms with events that have occured recently. There is a Male that has been giving me way too much attention for my liking. I hear from aquaintances at work that he's asked if I'm married and he compliments me by saying you look nice today and never fails to say hello and goodbye when I am comig into work and leaving. I thought those were innocent and would lead to nothing because they have happend before but I was wrong because just a few weeks ago he handed me a note explaining that he thinks I am beautiful and he wants to ask me out but is afraid I will say no and blah blah blah!

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I was really shocked and asked myself, "what are we in 1st grade writing notes like this? And that worked for a few days I guess but today he asked me out right if I was married. I consulted with my sisters on the matter and they told me to lie and say I was. I am not a good liar so I just said no. I am afraid the next question will be, "Can I take you out sometime?

I honestly don't know what to say. Obviously yes is not an option but I have never thought about how to explain to a non-muslim why I cannot date. Let me just clarify that he and everyone else in the office knows of my faith because I do wear hijab. Also the dreaded non-muslim Valentines day holiday is coming up and my workplace is doing candy and balloon deliveries and co-workers have hinted that he plans on getting them delivered to me and I am just at a loss as to what to do.

I feel like I am leading this clueless guy on by not rejecting his advances but at the same time I dont know how to do that. Sorry for the essay length description of my dilemma but I am not good at the whole "long story short" thing. Thanks for any advice! That's a big block of text: First off thanks sister for coming across my blog. I haven't written articles in a while but still get comments, likes and views so Alhamdulilah for that and Inshallah bookmark this page and share it with your friends because inshallah really soon I will get back to writing regularly on various topics.

As for your question and situation. I'm not a scholar or trained in this. I'm just a Muslim writer with my own opinions so that's the best I can give you. Take it or leave it, it's up to you. You just have to muster up the courage and be blunt with the guy, but nicely. Tell him that you mean no disrespect but that he should stop with the flirting and nudging you because you're Muslim and its part of your faith that you do not flirt and mix with the opposite gender. You have to tell him that plain and simple. No beating around the bush. I do have to ask: Are you interested in this person at all?

Because then that changes everything. I know of and witnessed many sisters who have been pursued by non-Muslim men and the Man eventually became Muslim -- Not just to be with the girl because that'd be wrong to do but because they were interested in the female, the sister would inform them about Islam, spark their interest and they would wind up truly believing in it and accepting Islam and then marrying that Sister. The flip side is there are others who accept Islam superficially just to marry and be with the sister and that creates long and short term problems.

You have to remember that whether you like it or not--especially because you wear the hijab openly--you are a Information kiosk for Islam everywhere you go and when the opportunity presents itself, you have to properly--to the best of your ability--explain the religion to those who are ignorant to it. Whether just for their knowledge, for people to respect you or for people to get off your back when you're in an uncomfortable situation like a non-Muslim man persistently trying to pursue you.

After you do explain yourself to him and politely tell him off, maybe he'll leave you alone. Maybe he'll be a gentleman and back off and have a newfound respect for you. Who knows until you tell him and put an end to it. Either way, it's best that you inform him the best that you can and however he takes that information, it's on him.

I am occasionally accused of word vomit and I was typing on my phone so I didn't think to add spaces between paragraphs; that probably would have made it easier to read lol sorry. I do want to say that I will definitely be reading and sharing your blog Inshallah.

Why millions of Muslims are signing up for online dating

Your material includes humor and facts with a side of opinion; its great! I have read a few other posts since I came across this one and I will continue because I do love a great blog. Secondly, thanks for the prompt reply. I really thought I wouldn't get a reply fast enough and have to seek answers elsewhere, So I do appreciate that even though you haven't written recently you still reply to your readers. I was afraid you'd say that I would have to be blunt but I guess in order to really get him to stop bothering me I eventually must educate him on my faith and why it does not allow meaningless dating.


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  • How Young Muslims Define 'Halal Dating' For Themselves : Code Switch : NPR.

You really did put it in a way that makes it easier for me to explain to him. I know you said its up to him how he takes it but I am worried about his response. If you can't tell already I hate confrontations. In any case, I am willing to say this to get him to understand and if you really think about it, I am doing him a favor. In case he happens to be in this situation again in the future, he'll know how to handle it. To answer your question, I am not interested in him. I mean don't get me wrong, he is very nice and sweet and definitely stands out from the general male population because of his personality.

I have heard a few negative things about him and his other relationships but who knows if its true or not.

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I work in a high school like environment where gossip is the main past time. Putting all that aside, other than working at the same place, we have nothing in common. Anytime we do talk, nothing he says sparks my interest. I like how you referred to women who wear hijab as "information kiosks. But the most I have had to explain to non-muslims over the years is why I wear hijab and the like or why some muslim women do and some don't. I just haven't had the practice of explaining the dating aspect of Islam. And you are very much correct when you say that it puts me in an uncomfortable position!

I mean this has been weighing on me for a while. But now I know that I do need to put an end to it and how he reacts shouldn't really affect me at all. You have been a really big help and I look forward to reading more of your posts! Not a problem, Sis! And just to add.

Dating Haram In Islam – No Interracial Dating

I know exactly what you mean about the high school like environment of a call center. I worked for two years at a call center during college and I used to joke with friends about the job telling them "It's basically high school with a paycheck. And yup on the note passing thing. Happened to me their too. Women 10 years older than me proposing one night stands via note passing. Homosexual men passing notes to me as well. But yeah, may Allah make it easy for you and don't sweat his reaction. Sometimes we tend to overthink things and picture the worst-case scenario and it stagnates us when really things end up going really smoothly.

Happens to me when I had stage fright doing presentations and public speaking and when I would worry about how someone would react to me giving them my two cents. Nine times out of ten things go great or they take it well. I am in a place in my life where I don't even know if I'm Muslim anymore. I am a girl, and I stay in the house all day, and only get out for school. I don't have friends. All I want now is love. I don't know If I'm blinded by the hollywood romance, but I do really want to fall in love, and be with an amazing man.

I don't want to be set up in a marrage by my dad. I want to be able to say "this is the man I love and the man I want to spend the rest of my life with". My dad, just wants to marry me off to a random stranger, and he is nost willing to wait until I am ready. He wants me to get married as soon as possible because culturlly, women need to get married at a younge enought age meaning no more than I don't know if my dad choosing my husband will be right.

My parents where in an arranged marrage, and their marrage is falling apart. My mom is not happy, and my dad is very controlling. All he wants is for my mom to stay home all day and never work. My mom has a job, but the reason why is because my dad has finacial problems.

Even when my mom uses the money to buy herself a new shirt, or skirt my dad complains. I don't want to live like my mom, spening the rest of my life controlled by a man and not having the simple freedom of buying a shirt with her own money that she earned.

How Young Muslims Define 'Halal Dating' For Themselves

I want to be equal with my husband. I wany him to respect me, and to acklowlege that I am a woman. I don't want to stop believeing my religion. It's I know, but the more I grow, the more I get away from it. The more I age, the more being an athiethis sounds more logical to me, and I don't know what to do. I am really scared. I'm 18 and I need help. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Both of my parents will probably disown me if I talked about my stuggles with my faith in Allah. I really don't what to do Really think someone should have replied to you under the circumstances and predicament that you state yourself to be in but hey better late than never!

I'm a 17 year old muslim growing up in Britain and I find it really hard to steer away from attention I dont always want from girls at my college. I mean yh its great girls calling you fit and cute but the only thing I dont like is this thing at the back of my mind or heart At times like these I just think about education success and then put love at the end of the list always telling myself that my love will surely last after I have established good financial grounds for myself and my family and then I can look for a long lasting relationship. This, he says, further facilitated the imitation of Western relationships.

Changing ideas about modernity, widespread urbanization and the West's cultural hegemony influenced something as intimate and personal as relationships, Arian says. But the most influential factor is globalization. These "shared experiences," as he calls them, have given birth to third-culture kids. These multicultural generations are growing up with a "very different moral compass that is rooted in a number of influences; and not just the local, but the global as well," Arian says.

Before social media and the prevalence of pop culture, it was a lot easier to enforce whatever ideologies you wanted your child to follow. But as globalization increased, this changed. Young people became increasingly exposed to the rest of the world. Today, their ideologies and values no longer find a basis in what their priest or imam preaches but in what social media and pop culture influencers might be saying and doing. Dating apps and websites that cater to young Muslims looking for meaningful long-term relationships are easy to find.

Muzmatch, a dating app launched two years ago, has , people signed up. Other apps, like Salaam Swipe and Minder, report high success rates for young Muslims who previously had a hard time finding a partner. These apps allow people to filter their searches based on level of religiosity, the kind of relationship they're looking for and other aspects such as whether the woman wears a headscarf and the man sports a beard.

While the men behind these apps launched them with the hope of giving young Muslims a positive platform to interact on, they say there are still many in their societies that oppose the idea of young couples interacting. Haroon Mokhtarzada, founder of Minder, says that a lot of this disapproval stems more from the fear of people in their communities gossiping than it does from the actual interaction the couples have. So I don't think it's the parents who are worried for themselves because they don't want their daughter talking to a guy or whatever, as much as it's them worrying about their family name and people talking and becoming part of a gossip mill," he says.

To combat this, Shahzad Younas, founder of Muzmatch, incorporated various privacy settings within the app, allowing people to hide their pictures until the match gets more serious and even allowing a guardian to have access to the chat to ensure it remains halal.


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  5. Like many Muslim women, Ileiwat has chosen not to wear the hijab, but that has not saved her from glares and stares if she's out in public with her boyfriend. Because of the prohibition on premarital sex, older Muslims often frown upon any visible interaction between unmarried young people, no matter how innocent. This can sometimes lead to assumptions that two individuals of the opposite sex who are just hanging out have an inappropriate premarital relationship.

    Which is ridiculous, but it makes for a juicy story," Ileiwat says, adding that even some of her younger married friends are subject to the gossip mill. But the fear of gossip and the older generation's fear of sexual relations between young men and women have made the concept of dating more intriguing for younger Muslims. Using the word dating to describe relationships has resulted in a schism between older and younger generations.

    Hodges says children pick up the popular vernacular from peers, leading to a barrier between what children say and how parents understand it.