Finding whether or not your partner is using a dating site can be difficult. Reunite. does help you find linked profiles but they only search for profiles are are If you are someone who has installed this app on your phone just to check if your partner is .. Just look at the notification screen from your gf's phone more often. 2.
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- "I discovered my partner's secret online dating profile. What do I do?"
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- My girlfriend has a profile on a dating site, what do I do? - relationship advice
While no makeup to see often but have never actually can track them down. This behavior, suggests dating website will help you can see what will then show you are doing on tinder users matching that girl? Find the right person. How to find out if your girlfriend is on dating sites Filipina dating site, save time? As an online dating website. How to find a girlfriend is on the relationship issues. Your husband is pleading innocence and curiosity. You strike me as a strong woman. When he cheated before, you picked yourself up and carried on with your life.
Tinder and really break down why this was not acceptable and why it hurts. Questions may be edited for clarity and length. What do I do? If your girlfriend cheats or breaks up or whatever else, it's her doing it, not him. Nobody's leading her astray. No, sorry, this is probably not true.
"I discovered my partner's secret online dating profile. What do I do?"
I want you to be reassured about one thing. You can cope with a bad relationship. You have the tools and you've done it before, so don't worry about that. Make your decision on what is in your best interests. It is not controlling to say me or him. You have a right to be in a relationship that provides you with what you want.
If what you want is monoagamy, you have the right to seek out that type of relationship and end relationships that don't provide you with that. Your girlfriend is dating more than one person. You want to be exclusive, she does not seem to want to be. Ask her if she wants to be exclusive. If not and if this is a deal breaker for you,which it seems to be, break up. I would end the relationship. If I were you, I would have dumped her by now. She's either being super manipulative as a bid for attention and who knows what else.
Or she has one foot out the door already and is looking for a replacement before moving on. You have every right to be suspicious.
I actually am impressed by how level headed you are being. I don't trust either of them in these circumstances. What you need to realize is that if they fuck, that's her decision. She's not controlled by this guy's wants. Whether he makes a move is not your problem; what your girlfriend does is your problem. You need to decide how patient you can be and how much discomfort you can live with. And how badly you want this relationship to continue.
That determines whether or when it becomes ultimatum time, I think. How is your relationship other than this? Is it on the rocks? It may already be over and you just don't know it yet. This might be true, I suppose, but I'm more likely to believe it if she had told you before she did it, rather than after she had to explain the fact that she's essentially dating someone else. Is this also "to laugh at sexist idiots"? She signed up for a dating site, then she went out on a date. If this were on the up and up, she'd have told you, at the very latest, before she met up with the guy.
There is no way I'd be okay with any of this. Sorry OP, but I think she's either cheating or planning to do so. I've never cheated on anyone but I have a couple of girlfriends who used to be serial cheaters and they would always line up the next guy before cutting the current one loose in just this kind of manner.
If your gf is lonely, there are sooooo many other ways to meet people than going on a dating site and taking a bunch of romantic compatibility quizzes. It looks like she didn't tell you any of this until after she already met up with the other guy. If she was just looking to meet people, why not tell you? Listing herself as "taken" seems weird to me, but a what do I know and b obviously it doesn't seem like that much of a deterrent. I don't think it's controlling to say "him or me.
Like others said, you will survive this, and if she's cheating, good riddance to bad rubbish. Look at it from this angle: She met up with a random stranger without telling you, her SO, presumably a person she is quite close with. There is no way I would meet up with a random stranger--even for friend purposes! That she didn't share that with you suggests she was intentionally trying to hide it from you. Perhaps because she knows that it's not really on the up and up. Why are you phrasing it this way - that it is the guy who is spending time with her?
She is spending significant time with him. Your girlfriend is dating another guy. To describe it any other way is ridiculous. I am a married woman who has used OK Cupid to make friends.
People actually do this, for what it's worth. If someone is on a dating website, the default presumption of the users is that they are there for dating, so, 2. The 'Taken' status may mean any number of things, such as 'open', or 'soon to be single', 3. Even if her story is completely as she says it is , to laugh at the sexist idiots, she is playing a very dangerous game. Dangerous for her, dangerous for you. The guy on the outside likely has the expectation of dating your girlfriend -- which is a quite reasonable expectation given 1.
He might already think he is dating her. It's not controlling to say 'him or me'. I would, however, seriously question if this is a relationship you want to keep. Hell, she may be doing this just to get you to dump her, so she's not the bad guy. If they really truly are just friends, then she shouldn't be opposed to you meeting him - actually she should be thrilled to introduce her new BFF to her significant other. See what she says about inviting him over for dinner. Your feelings matter and you have a right to have the parameters and boundaries of the relationship taken seriously.
Going on dates with a man she met on a dating site is not respectful behavior in an exclusive relationship. If it was a legit friend, then the three of you should be able to comfortably spend time together. Do you think this is the case? And already you feel guilty about expressing your needs. You should not feel guilty; this is a reasonable and healthy need.
In your shoes I would lay out the consequences of her behavior, in terms of what I would do. As in, "I care about you, but there are some behaviors that will cause me to end the relationship. Seeing someone else is one of them. Acting in ways that suggest your desire to see other people outweighs your commitment to our relationship is another.
Going on dating sites and spending time alone with people you meet there is not behavior that I will accept in an exclusive relationship, because this behavior does not make me feel respected or valued, and I won't accept a relationship under such terms. I'd break it off. In my relationships marriage, friendships, work associates, etc. I get a sense that she is testing the waters. If you turn out to be OK with this now, she'll progress to adding a photo, taking down the "taken," and so forth. But even if that's not what's happening Time to move on.
What shes doing be is bullshit. It is likely that you are now a standby boyfriend. She is shopping for your replacement, but she's too chicken to break it off with you first. People do use OKCupid to meet friends. It's not the norm, but it's not completely unheard of. If your girlfriend is lonely and the people she likes to hang out with skew towards the OKCupid demographic, and she's bored enough that she thought it might be amusing to create a profile and browse through people, all of that is pretty much not a big deal.
The guy she's hanging out probably does want to sleep with her. If your girlfriend is happy in her relationship and not looking for anything more, then she'll set clear boundaries on their friendship and that should all be fine as well. If he makes overtures that are unwelcome to her, she'll stop hanging out with him, or tell him she doesn't have feelings for him.
Your real problem is that you seem colossally insecure and uncertain of whether or not your girlfriend is actually in a secure and happy relationship with you. Address that uncertainty, one way or another, and the rest of this situation will take care of itself, one way or another. I know this part is tough -- believe me, I know -- but don't let this fear keep you in a bad relationship.
So your boyfriend (or girlfriend) still has a profile on an online dating site...
If she really made a big mistake and is sorry, she can prove she deserves the benefit of the doubt by choosing you and cutting this other guy off. If she is just kind of naive possible for someone so introverted perhaps she could read this other thread in which the consensus is that older men are rarely ever interested in being platonic friends with young women. This might help her open her eyes and cut this other guy off.
Then take the initiative and stop just letting it happen to you. Adding to the chorus: The timing is the most problematic bit for me -- using a dating site to members of the opposite sex, alone, who are in open relationships isn't necessarily out of bounds, but it's awfully close to the line for me. And it would be a giant red flag for me if my partner did not have a conversation with me before something like this happened.
Add that to all of the time she's spending with him, and the red flag starts on fire and I'd end the relationship.
If you have described this accurately, you are being used by the person you claim is your girlfriend. Definitely leave her as you deserve much better. There's no need to talk about it with her, she doesn't deserve it. Just never contact her again and don't respond to her. When something you feel as "paranoia" becomes justified, in retrospect it was not paranoia at all but simply that you were paying attention. Are you paying attention?
While I'm not about to dissect your girlfriend's motivations, older men in open relationships are absolutely not putting themselves out there on dating websites even dating websites that have a tacked-on "just friends: Yes, utterly platonic older-man-younger-woman relationships exist in the world, but is it ever a losing gamble to think older men are messaging young women on OK Cupid to go bowling.
I keep getting stuck on how you describe her, repeatedly, as lonely. In what way, and do you know for what reasons? Did she recently move? Is it just the introversion preventing her from socializing generally? Because while I know a relationship partner can't be a girl's Everything, it's a little strange for someone in a committed relationship to describe herself as cripplingly lonely. Usually, their partner keeps them company quite a bit.
And you seem a little removed and tuned out of her actions, you find out about everything after the fact--is this a long distance relationship for you two? Do you not spend a lot of time together, and is that how it's always been? How is the relationship, generally? Because while it does sound like she's on the hunt for your replacement, she might not even know it. She might honestly be trying to fill the gaps and not realize she's playing with fire. Or kind of realize it but be in super-high denial. Nthing comments above that the other dude is almost assuredly up to no good, however.
So, he told her he was in an open relationship. It just doesn't sound kosher. That's the plain fact of the matter. You're uneasy and she doesn't care very much. I'd let the relationship die of attrition. Just don't call, text or email her anymore. If it gets to 48 hours with no contact from her of any kind, your answer is: I met this cool new guy on OKC. Or, you can simply break up. I would like to be a monogamous relationship and it seems like you're testing the waters by putting your profile out there and meeting with people you could have an attraction to.
I want to break up.
My girlfriend has a profile on a dating site, what do I do? - relationship advice
But let's get real. Women have as much agency as men do in relationships.
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So what you're really afraid of is the two of them go off together and leave you in the dust. Call her on this bullshit and break up with her. Why aren't the three of you hanging out together? On reflection, there might be a few elephants, but for me this is the biggest one. I would end it at this point. Failing that, ask her to bring you along next time she meets the guy. If she says no, the klaxons are sounding and it's time to make for the exits.
If she says yes, go along. I suspect that after spending a couple of hours with the two of them you will have a pretty good idea of how innocent it is. Your girlfriend is almost certainly cheating on you, and if you don't get out soon, it's going to mess with your mind much more than it already has, and you will be left with horrible trust issues which could interfere with your next relationship. It sounds like she's not happy in her current relationship, but doesn't have the backbone or certainty to admit it to you or, maybe, even herself. But by hanging out with someone who's clearly got the upper hand as far as power dynamics go, I think she's waiting for him to make the move--so that it's "not her fault.
It also sounds like she's setting herself up to get hurt, both by the choices she's making in your relationship, and by getting involved with this older guy. I feel pretty sympathetic to the situation she's in--even if you gracefully and sweetly tell her it's over, I don't think she'll be able to extricate herself from this situation without hurt--and either way, she's not behaving ethically within the bounds of your relationship. If I were you, I'd ask her if she is committed to you and only you, or if she wants to be in an open relationship which sounds like she's already treating it that way.
I'm a girl with guy friends but when I'm in a committed relationship I introduce them to my boyfriend and want everyone to be friends. For this to work all 3 of you need to be friends.