3 Reasons Christian Guys Need to Ask a Girl OUT! I've been hanging out with a lot of singles lately and even years removed from my time.
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I spoke with those same female friends yesterday and today and they know my heart. My humility and sincerity. Please do not attack me when I did this for them in obedience to God. And it hurts when someone like you tries to degrade me and belittle my knowledge off of a word blog. Josh Harris even went so far as to call for the elimination of dating and returning to the courtship model of the 19th century. There is such plethora of opinions, all which claim to be the absolute one, that it is mind boggling.
So, I am going to give a rebuttal and then suggest some reasons of my own definitely not absolute. Let me be honest, I met my wife on E-harmony and dated her long distance for about five months before I moved to Arkansas to be closer. The options I had in the small town I was stuck in were not attractive to me at all.
So, I had to widen the search. Options are good, especially if there seem to be no good options in front of you. Maybe if the girl wants to push to the head of that 3, person list mine is not near that much, and I did not date off Facebook , maybe they ought to be more straightforward about their interest and not play the silly mind games that frustrate guys.
Social media is not evil and it may lead to something amazing if used right. To each their own with biblical purity and discernment of course. To an extent, I do believe that Jesus has been made soft by our church culture to counteract the harshness of our current worldly culture. I deplore a weak Jesus more than anyone. Let me say that first, Jesus, while born as the male sex, embodied the best of both genders.
Jesus was what everything it meant to be both male and female, otherwise he could only redeem males and we would need a queen Mary perhaps? Jesus was tender and he tough; Jesus was a steady presence and yet incredible unpredictable.
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Jesus was a paradox wrapped up in an enigma. Now, is it wrong to be a nice guy? Any woman who has had to deal with the more adventurous jerk, will tell you they would have preferred the nice guy. You see, women who date jerks like how hot they are and they believe they have the power to change them into nice guys. When that does not work, conflict ensues and marriages end, or at least they become strained. Guys are supposed love and cherish their wives as Christ does his church; that means that they well…need to be nice to them. While men do not need to be pansies, I do not think they need to be barbarian warlords either.
There is a balance, and Jesus showed us that. I agree that the Gospel has been watered down or better yet, changed in a lot of churches. There are a myriad of heretical reasons for this. Now, it is to be the analogy of the husband being in constant pursuit of his wife. But since we do not have arranged marriages anymore, a guy does not know who his wife will be until a year to hopefully four years down the line.
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I have not pursued any woman like I pursue my wife, and that is what Paul was trying to say when he compared marriage to Christ and the Church. You either have to step back from the analogy in 21st century dating or go back to arranged marriages but you cannot have both. I agree with this for the most part.
I would also add too that a lot of females veil their intentions while the relationship is in the dating stage and then hit the guy with them once they have a ring on their finger. It is fraud to lie about your taxes; it is relational fraud to claim that you are okay with a guy and do not want change him when you have active plans to do so. Real guys resist female manipulation and you will only create bitterness in your relationship if you try it. However, pointing fingers and claiming a biblical definition of cultural expression of mating not helpful to the conversation.
There is a constant barrage in church of people telling men they need to grow up and take a responsibility. While that is true, I do not believe guilt is an effective tactic in any conviction situation. What I do not hear in churches is the call for young ladies to abandon their Disney conceptualized few of romance. I hate to say this, but most of us are not Prince Charming, and ladies sometimes Prince Charming is quite dangerous. Stop thinking that finding a husband is going to mean happily ever after, because that is just not scriptural.
The Gospel calls us to the kind of marriage where we die to our expectations and embrace what God has in store for us both.
Anything and everything less than that is a lie. A lot of pretty girls do not have any more depth than any of the hot guys they are pawning after; I thought they did, but I watched as they threw it all out the window to pursue tall-dark-handsome and often -stupid. Those same friends years later would tell you, plead with you, to not bother. The nice guy is not feminine because he does not chase down antelope on his stallion or if he prefers a good rpg to climbing a rock wall , just give him a chance and you may be surprised at how masculine he can be.
7 tips for asking someone on a date
Neither can there really be. My point is that we are given the guidelines for purity and the ultimate goal and purpose of marriage, other than that is purposely left vague. Dating, courting, arranged marriages are all cultural expressions that could fit into our biblical framework, God has left to us to decide the form but NOT the function sounds like my church planting classes of our dating relationships.
The confusion first caused by Harris and others has left many guys clueless and many females nuns, waiting for God to send the guy riding up to their door on a white stallion. I know this comes as a shock, but some guys are just not outgoing. I was that way for the longest time and still can be if I am not careful.
A lot of guys who are shy are very critical of themselves and their confidence will only be raised by some genuine female interests in them. That may require you ladies to ask HIM out first, and then once his confidence is up, let him take the lead of the relationship. Not all guys worth following are loud, chest-thumping, brutes; you just have to be willing to be unconventional. I waited till I was 28 to get married; I do not regret it at all. If I had tried to be a husband and lead a woman while I was in college, it would have been a disaster.
I waited to find the right one for me, the one God has used to balance and complement my life. See dating as a fun way to get to know others of the opposite sex, take it slow, protect your purity and your heart, and God will bring you someone in his will and in his timing.
Willie Mac cool name: I like your examples, haha. The difference is that yours is more universal for all men. My reasons were more focused on the Christian men. Anything universal would already be assumed, therefore no need to add it.
Also, real quick about your first half rebuttal —. My comparison was the relationship change among sexes before internet and after. Our view of friendships and opportunities have change. Even secular news anchor, scientists, psychologists, etc would agree with that. I was never referring to how women view the nice and bad guy. Jesus has qualities that are shied away from and we go overboard on some ideals.
But blame society and history for that. Look at popular worship music and how they describe Jesus. Good luck to you. Hello my fellow anonymous friend! May I ask you a few questions? That is, if you are willing to answer:.
7 tips for asking someone on a date | Christian Connection Blog
If not, why is that? If they are, please give proof. Or did I, instead, translate the weak teaching of Jesus slowly causing men to be that way? Did I explicitly say anything about the men outside the context of dating? Yes, so pretty please answer those questions if you can. Then we can get back to the heart of the issue and have a legitimate discussion. Good luck my anonymous friend!
Reblogged this on hangouts4singles and commented: Certainly worth discussing its implications for you, please drop your comments? And if anyone out there is looking for a good website to date and chat with other Christians check this out. You make some pretty good points. Judgement has pretty much been browbeaten out of Christianity. If you make it through, then you deserve my good side.
You know, because a guy with standards who reads his Bible is just waiting to be treated like dirt to get with a tatted up single mom who smokes. You can substitute this with the overused Marilyn Monroe quote that gets around if you so wish. Thanks very much for your post. It was interesting to see a different perspective than my own female. I agreed with what you said, but I also can see his side as well. There are so many factors that affect relationships. I really liked that you talked about how Godly women these days have been told and told to wait and trust in the lord and he will provide the right person for us.
Guys, Here’s How to Ask a Girl on a Date
I was not living a Godly life when I was in college. But about the same time that I was graduating, I was ending a toxic relationship that I had been involved in. I can handle it either way. To buy the book in paperback or Kindle or download a free sampler, visit www. You can connect with HopefulGirl at www. Since the UK launch in , thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.
Want to write for us? If you would like to write an article for this blog, find out how. Back to Christian Connection. Read more articles on: Get weekly blog articles direct to your email inbox Be the first to read new articles every Tuesday. Read more articles on Join our Facebook Community. Because women are waiting. Like I said before, the majority of women I interact with are okay with are longing for a man to make the first move.
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They want to know that they are wanted, and are attracted to a man who exudes the confidence it takes to approach them. Sometimes women have blinders on, and we need a little help getting pointed in the right direction. Afterall, you know how we can be with directions. I have heard from so many women who have admitted to going on dates with guys they never wanted to marry, because they were drawn to their initiative. Now, while I believe those women should take full responsibility for their choices and behaviors, I do think that trend is telling.
So guys, whatever might be holding you back, I challenge you to do your part in preparing your heart for love …and then pretty please, go ahead and ask a girl out! Ladies, can I get an amen? Share this article if you agree, and then leave your thoughts!