How is one to get their ex girlfriend back when she already has a to want your ex back when she is already dating someone else is one of the.
Table of contents
- How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Her New Boyfriend (Without Looking Desperate)
- Part 3: Healing During No Contact When she is dating someone else
- Part 2: Doing No Contact When She is with Her New Boyfriend
- Can I Get My Ex Back If She’s Already Dating?
So, my team and I started recommending this new plan to the men and the women we worked with and slowly but surely we started noticing significant results. Any time I learn something new that can significantly impact your chances I am going to come to this page and update it so that you always have a resource you can trust to stay on top of things. Change is the only constant in life and that certainly includes strategies for getting an ex back.
For example, you obviously came to this page because you want your ex girlfriend back and she has a new boyfriend. Well, what do you think would happen if the new boyfriend caught wind of the fact that you wanted your girl back? Men, by nature, are very protective of their women so I guarantee you that to the new boyfriend you trying to get his girlfriend back is going to paint you in a light where you are an enemy.
So, obviously the big risk you run by trying to win your ex girlfriend back in this case is that you could become a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend which will ultimately cause them to be closer together. Being a common enemy between your ex and her new boyfriend is one of the worst positions that you could possibly be in.
You must do everything in your power to avoid this position. How do you not be a common enemy in a situation where your intentions clearly paint you as an enemy to the new boyfriend? If you can be subtle but effective in your intentions to win your ex girlfriend back you will most likely NOT be looked at by your ex as a common enemy. In fact, what might end up happening is that your ex does all the work for you.
Lets say that you are very subtle in your intentions to get your ex girlfriend back but over time your methods start to work. All of a sudden your ex girlfriend starts to get confused about her feelings. You see, on the one hand she has strong feelings for you and on the other hand she has strong feelings for her current boyfriend. Inevitably she is going to talk to the one person who is supposed to support her and understand her no matter what, her boyfriend. She may not be completely honest with him about what is going on in her mind but she is going to say things to him to try to test him to see if he is ready for the truth.
Of course, sometimes you will get a boyfriend who can tell when something is off without her even having to say a word. Eventually the truth is going to come out and how do you think the new boyfriend is going to react to discovering that his girlfriend your ex is still hung up on you? In fact, a massive fight or breakup might occur and now you are looking like you are in a really good position. THAT is what we are trying to do here.
Of course, the situation you currently find yourself in is one of the hardest to experience as your chances for success are slightly lowered. Allow me to explain. So, I am not going to sit here and tell you that if you follow every little step I outline on this page that your ex girlfriend is going to break up with her current boyfriend and come running back to you. Ok, let me put this in simpler terms so you really have a good grasp at what this page is going to do for you.
Imagine for a moment that in every single breakup that occurs between a couple a certain percentage is assigned to it. That percentage correlates to the chance that, that couple has of getting back together. Imagine that you follow the advice on this page and get to a place where your ex girlfriend is confused about her feelings for you and her new boyfriend.
Now, this can either work in your favor or work against you. I am talking about someone who provides emotional support, someone who listens and tries not to judge, someone who truly cares about her and she realizes it. However, as I am sure you have realized there are situations where this does happen. Would you like to know how it happens? One of the biggest assets I can bring to you with this page is my experience in dealing with thousands of couples. You see, I have a sister site to this one called, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, where I have helped thousands of women.
For example, there was once a girl that came to my other site, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, who was dating a new guy but wanted her ex back even though he cheated on her six times with six different women. So, what did this guy who had done horrible things to her in the past have that drew her in so much that she wanted to leave her perfectly good boyfriend? At first that was what I thought but the more I talked to her about her particular situation I began to realize that there was something else going on in her head. In other words, even though some women find themselves in a situation where they are clearly better off relationship wise sometimes the appeal of the connection can trump everything.
So, if you were to ask me how to get your ex girlfriend back in a situation where she has moved on and her new man treats her well then I would say you would have to hit her where she will be affected most, her romantic feelings for you. You will need to find a way to get her to tap into those feelings for you and when she does that is going to dramatically increase your chances of having her run back to you. Like I said, a comparison between you and the new guy is eventually going to happen no matter what it just a question of when. Well, lets pretend that your ex girlfriend has been dating her new boyfriend for 2 months exactly.
How do i "Get her to realise from there" though? Are you saying i should change myself to make myself more attractive and stuff like that? Well, that is the objective of our 5 step plan. We advocate for positive changes to create a better version of yourself because the current version causes the relationship to end. How can i get her if I will not beg to come back Begging makes you look desperate and weak, and she will lose respect for you in the process.
All the more if she has moved on, begging will only affirm her decision to walk away from you. Pick yourself up emotionally first, address the issues that you contributed towards the breakup, before reaching out and building attraction as if you were chasing her for the first time. Hi, So my ex and I were together for about 13 months. In that 13 months we broke up several times due to fighting, but we always got back together after a week or less. Last November we broke up after a really tense situation and it lasted for 7 months. We tried dating and getting to know other people in that time, but we ended up back together last June.
Unfortunately we broke up again in August and now I just found out that she's now back to dating the guy she was seeing before we got back together in June. Apparently they've been dating again for a few weeks now. I've already made some big mistakes like making her really angry at me after this break up and send long messages saying sorry and that I wanted her back. She's already blocked me from social media. I know I should initiate No Contact and I should try to improve myself and try to fix the toxic parts of our relationship, which I have been doing, but how long do I do NC for?
And do you think I still have a chance at getting her back? You might have to consider if getting back is truly the best choice. In the time you've been dating her, the relationship has repeatedly ended which clearly indicates a problem between both parties which may require change from both ends and not just you. However, if you still intend to get back with her, 30 days of no contact seems right given the time frame of the you guys getting together from June till August.
If after no contact, she is still dating the guy or doesn't indicate interest to be with you at that time, you might have to consider walking away even longer for now. Hi Kevin, I like your article and i think your advice is super helpful given my situation. My story is super long and i'd be happy to post it up here but I think what would be really helpful is if I can potentially get on a call with you to discuss my situation. We provide personal email coaching with Kevin in which you'd be able to share your story with him and get one-to-one advice.
More information can be found in this link. My ex and I had been dating from March 18 to around June 18 when everything fell apart. I was in the wrong because she found some texts on my phone when texting another girl and those messages were a bit naughty. She ignores me and comes back oftenly. I want my girl back. Perhaps for the time being, it might be better to go into no contact to give her some space to let go of the bitter emotions she may be feeling. Apologize for your previous actions, and tell her that it might be better to spend some time apart.
When you reach out again, try to make things up to her and show her that you have changed since then. Hi there Ryan, I just wanted to start off by saying I love your articles and they've helped me tremendously. With that being said, me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up about 3 weeks ago, we are both 21 and we've only ever been with each other. She said that she wanted to break up to experience other people and try different things. I later found out that she had been talking to someone else.
I do put the blame for this on myself because I wasnt the best boyfriend. I never showed any affection, didnt take her out, started to gain weight, didn't have a job, and none of the little things. Yet she still showered me with affection and always tried to put me on the right track, and I couldn't even let her know how much I appreciated that.
Shes always been head over heels for me, and after the breakup it seemed like that girl I knew was gone. She was going out every night having fun with her new guy, getting to experience the things she never got with me for a while. I realized what I had lost and knew that I needed to get her back. So I stopped sitting around and got a job, switched my life habits, started going to the gym, and ended up losing over 15 pounds now. I tried telling her I'm changing for her and all I was accomplishing so far and all she said was that shes proud but it's too late and that I need to stop taking to her.
So I did just that. Then just a couple days ago she came to drop off my clothes, I had no intention of talking to her, I was just going to take the clothes and leave it at that. But then she said she wanted to talk with me and I went along with it. We starting just talking about everything that had been going on in our lives for the past few weeks.
We were having a great time and laughing ot up just taking about everything, but then she told me the past couple days she was having panic attacks something she has a history of and that she didnt know why. Then once again I try to tell her I can change for her and I just need one more chance yet she still is so insistent that it's not gonna happen. I messed up once again and resorted to the begging and bargaining and then she eventually left and went home. I texted her when she left to tell her I was being stupid, I didnt mean to scare her away, and that if she needed anything she could come to me.
She said she understood and told me thank you, but also told me once again that we need to stop taking. I later found out that she could have gone to see her new guy that night if she wanted to, instead she chose to spend it with me. Since that night I decided to start no contact again and continue on improving myself.
What I'm asking for here is your thoughts on my situation and should I be there for her if she needs it, or should I tell her no. Thanks for the reply in advance. The first contact seemed to have gone well until the begging and bargaining started, to which you might have caused her to withdraw again. Give things some space, and when you reach out the next time, try to keep your emotions in check and take things a step at a time.
For now if she reaches out, you could consider being there for her but remember not to overstep any boundaries and make her uncomfortable. Me and my ex were perfect with each other and rarely argued, not even fighting. When we argued we would talk it out with each other and come to terms with each other. Last week tho she started talking less to me because university had just started and she started going out with friends a lot more. When I talked to her about this, instead of our usual open to heart discussion she acted more defensive.
Then at the end of the week she gave me her answer and asked to break up with me. Not a big deal, right? I agreed to her request when I heard the real reason and we broke up on good terms. And just thinking about her being forced to be with someone from her own culture and sleeping with them makes me sick to my stomach.
Or should I first convince her dad to change his mind and then try to get my ex back by following this guid? It would really depend on how strict her dad would be regarding the culture issue, and whether you think your ex would someday be willing to disregard it and decide that the relationship is more important. The latter would help in you trying to convince her dad to support her decision, otherwise, you'd be stuck with fighting two battles 1 to win her back and 2 to win her dad over. If she firmly chooses to respect her dad's decision, you might find yourself having a hard time to do either of the tasks and it may honestly be better to walk away.
Hi Ryan, Great material — Hoping you can give me some insight, grab a bag of popcorn. Everything was great Ski lessons, cooking classes and the like , we talked about marriage, moving in and all that good stuff. We were very good together, laughed often and always in contact. Fast forward until 1. She bit and agreed. Come Friday, I followed up with no response until Saturday morning. Heart dropped but I said that was fine and meet anyways. She was engaged, making jokes, laughing, reminiscing on old times, talking life with no mention of the current person see is dating. Last 15 minutes, I get into why I came.
I told her that I expected my feelings to fade but they have not, we were good together and that while I respect her new situation, if she was ever single again, we would be great together. She said we had good times, thought of me often and that the current thing was not serious and that she would expect to be single again at some point. I ended coffee and left after hug. On Wednesday I texted saying it was great catching up and seeing her, she said the same back. I am now debating on going all in with a text this weekend stating while I respect her current situation, I think we both are great together and have feelings for each other and I want to give us another chance.
I think the new thing is sub 4 weeks old, she agreed to meet with me in light of it, she stated its not serious and maybe single again in the future, stayed for a great 2 hours, was very excited to see me, responded to text a few days later, still is the first to stalk my snaps. Family issues still there, she is currently dating someone, she is stubborn, I waited over 3 months missing summer and her Bday. That puts us out months broken up on a 6 month relationship.
Thoughts on my game plan? Instead of immediately going all in which could backfire drastically should anything not go according to plan , it would be better to perhaps remain on friendly terms first, and fact find a little more about her current situation with her date, as well as to rebuild familiarity and comfort towards you. Hi my name is Daniel but we've been together for two-and-a-half years I can't say I've been perfect but I've shown love respect and on their kids she's still living with me but she's going to sleeping with this guy and staying over there she said that it's over this is fresh and I just read this I did every single thing that you put on there not to do is it too late to start fresh and not do the communication thing which I haven't all day today.
About 11 months ago I signed for my daughter to move out of state with her mother and I never told her and I kept it in now I did tell her and she's like why didn't you tell me before I broke down and cried to her and apologized and she still said it's too late she has feelings for this guy she is a nurse and she used to be his nurse and that's what came in contact. Spend the time picking yourself up from the breakup first and go into no contact. If she has developed feelings for someone new, the only chance to win her back is if things don't work out between them, or if you come across as the better alternative and to do so would require some changes in your life to become a better version of yourself than before.
I met my ex-gf the middle of and things were going pretty good and we were both happy. At we spent months being together at same time preparing for college. She was the first to leave for school. During our time together she as always hinted that she was afraid of falling for someone else. At some point, she began making suggestions about finding someone to take care of her while she was in school this was rampant that, it stirred number of insecurities within me.
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Her New Boyfriend (Without Looking Desperate)
During the time we were together she made out with a guy a family friend she felt sorry and told me about it. But the insecurities didnt go away. It drove me into thinking that I was never good enough for her. At the same time I battled great deal of social anxiety which I have worked on. After she left for college I stopped contacting her for the fear that I wasnt good enough.
During the following year i still didn't get in contact with her at the same time I didnt move on. I was sort of stuck, still working on my anxiety. Till i initiated contact and tried explaining myself that I was dealing with things really personal and that I never left her for someone else.
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My mistake was that I didnt deal with my issues completely, somehow he grew distant. But I'm okay wit whatever happens. I understand why the breakup happened and have realized that it was a huge fault of mine. I'm in a good place right now and to be honest, I'm texting u just because I miss speaking to you. I don't have a goal or an ulterior motive for texting you. I just want to see what happens" template from your site of course. So there is no coming back for you. We were never meant to be so Just move on.
Sorry Forgot to add when we met she 16 and I At this point she could still be going through a phase due to her age, and you might want to consider walking away for the time being to focus on yourself and grow as a person.
Part 3: Healing During No Contact When she is dating someone else
Frequencies and phases of life would change rapidly for people around that age, and you should try to reach out and connect with her once again as friends first later on after some changes have been made to your life and you become the person she can visualize being with. She broke up with me because I was still hurt from a past relationship and I was slower moving than she was.
We cared deeply for each other, but she has some PTSD that wouldn't let her move on even though I wanted to. She also said multiple times she couldn't imagine not having me in her life and for me not to disappear. She said we need to take it day by day and time will tell for us. Its been about weeks since the breakup. I did everything to a T. I had no contact, during that time she contacted me. We texted a lot of remembrance texts and finally went out on a great hike the other day.
She said she wanted to go on more hikes if I wanted to and texted me later that is was good seeing me. We had some more text conversations that were good. She's been hanging out with this guy since day 1 of the breakup. They kinda knew each other before. I was very skeptical of them forming something together, but kinda had my mind eased as she said they were joining their freelance businesses and working of a lot of big projects. Well I just found out two days after the hike that they are seeing each other. Do I have a chance here? Seems like a rebound but high risk if there is a lot of work and money at stake.
What do I do now? Ask her if they are a thing then just let it roll off my back like I don't care because I'm in a good place and tell her there is still hurt and its best to not be in contact for a while? People can be irrational when it comes to emotions, disregarding professionalism. You could let her know that it hurts and go into NC for the time being while they're dating. Hi Ryan, I've lived in London with my girlfriend who was from Argentina for the past three years.
We had an incredible connection and lived what we both agreed and still do was the best 3 years of our lives, our friends, family all loved what were together. She began to miss her family and country and got the point where she wanted to move back to Argentina to "see how she felt" and whether she wanted to stay in the UK and get married etc, of which I totally understood. So we broke up and she moved away. During the first two months apart, there was a lot of communication between us and I have to admit I became very needy and desperate for her to come back very unlike myself..
It got to the point though where I was just causing sadness in her life as I was upset about her leaving, and she told me she was going to move on.. I think I must have made every mistake in the book! A week after this, I found out she had already met someone else and is moving on. Again, I made a massive mistake by losing my shit when I found out about her being with someone - mainly because she had continued to string me along with hope until the day I heard about the new person, and it really really hurt.
She said that when she met this new guy, It made her realise she didn't want to fight for me as she was attracted to him. A lot of the pain lies in the fact that if we weren't born so far apart, we both admit that we would have been together for life.
Part 2: Doing No Contact When She is with Her New Boyfriend
We were so perfect before this ordeal and I feel my neediness made her fall out of love with me and into the arms of another man. I had never been needy, desperate or jealous once within the relationship. It's been about three weeks now of sparse contact and the last email I sent yesterday was an email to her apologising for my neediness and that I respect her decisions which I actually do and I wish her the best. She sent me an email apologising for her actions and saying I would always be in her heart and that the best memories of her life were with me.
What course of action do you think I should take I keep wondering if I hadn't been trying to convince her to come back, the outcome may have been totally different. You might want to consider several options depending on where you stand and given the circumstances:. Most of this year we were together but I kept her at an arms length and was not committed to the relationship and was honest about it.
A few weeks ago we had a blow out where she basically told me she just wanted me to tell her I could guarantee we'd be together at some point. I told her no relationship is a guarantee but I wanted to work on things. She told me she was going out with friends that night but she would call me when she got off work.
She didn't call so I texted her and asked what's up. She texted me back something along the lines of "it's not the right time, i'm sorry, i'll always love you. She text back and said she loves me and hates me so much. I asked her to come home and she said no she was staying out late. Like a stalker, I drove by her house shortly after and she was coming home. I asked what was going on and she told me she went out with another guy someone she mentioned before but that she came home because she was confused and wanted to figure things out.
Long story short, we were kinda sorta together over the past week but I was needy, clingy, etc. This Friday she said she was going out again and after not hearing from her all night, I drove by her house at 5am stalking again I know and her car wasn't there.
Rather than waiting for another lie I texted her that I was hurt and couldn't believe it was so easy for her to leave me for someone she barely knew and that my time with her was the best of my life and goodbye. I realize I just pushed her right into this other guys arms but my question is, do I try and reach out and tell her it will hurt me if she sleeps with this other guys and I'm working on things, or do I just institute no contact? If I can stop things before she moves forward I want to, but I can see how she just has the desperate image of me stuck in her mind right now.
In the meantime, I've been following the advice of the guides and started working on myself and haven't done any more crazy texting, calling, etc. It would be better to initiate NC, as the former idea would probably push her further away because of the impression she may hold over you at this point. Brilliant article this, pretty much how my ex is behaving, she is moving in with her rebound after two months, I have grew immensely over the two months, would say I'm better than ever on many cases.
Only issue I have is she won't contact me back, although I feel like her new guy is stopping that in every way, do you have any advice to get over that part as waiting around is the hardest thing. She did move over from Canada to the UK to be with me, she is also still wearing my previous engagement ring although she has blocked me on everything minus WhatsApp and texting.
Any advice I'd be most grateful. Waiting becomes hard if all you're focused on is actually waiting around, and each day becomes a torture and passes by really slowly. I would suggest putting yourself back out there, for the time being, developing new lifestyle habits and essentially just focusing on yourself. Consider even dating again in the meantime if you feel ready , since she is currently also doing the same and let opportunity present itself before deciding on an action to take.
If my ex went to talk to someone new, and I realize that the person has had some small trouble with the law. And has is seeming lying about some things. Can I, out of concern of possible safety, point that out to my ex?
Or is that considered comparing? Your ex might consider it differently from how you intend the message to come across, especially if your ex currently has strong feelings for the new person. Would be best if you could get a mutual friend to relay the message instead of you. Hi I just came out of nc and my ex is seeing someone. I sent her the elephant in the room text. She did not respond to the text instead she came to the place I live angry at me crying saying that I me ruined everything.
I told her I think we need more time apart before we can speak. A week later she unblocks me on whatsapp and when I text her she told me I must go speak to her in person. I want to know how do I approach this? Go along with meeting her in person and decide again based on how she responds to you. It does seem that she still has feelings for you, but hasn't let go of the past yet to treat you normally. Me and my girlfriend of 5 years broke up after both parts doing wrong stuff.
We really loved each other and she would sleep on my house everynight. But dring the last year we stared having some arguments and she did some wrong stuff including messaging his first boyfriend. I wanted to stop being with her but she really wanted to stay with me, appologising and really showing real effort to keep our relationship. The problem was that i never really got over it and started treating her differently and basicly she lost connection and gave up, even with me loving her a lot and showing it too.
She then went on a dinner with her friends and it lead to stop talking to me for days. When i talked with her she said she needed space and she was sorry. Then we talked again and she said she wanted to be with me, but i asked her to fisrt explain what was happening with her because she was not the same and i was desperate and trying everything to be good with her. That night we had sex and we were really good talking until i flipped and said that i needed to sleep.
We talked after and she said again she needed some space to understand everything because she said she didn't know and was feelling really depressed , the thing is that after that I acted too insecure and clingy, she would talk to me and say she lved me and i was her best friend, but she didn't love me as boyfriend like she used to. I asked her out believe after too much pressure already and she broke up with me. We stopped talking for 17 of june until she texted me asking for sending some numbers she really needed for work.
I gave it to her but then acted too needy again stupid she talked and said she was still in my life. I said goodbye and she said we could talk, "why goodbye? On 17 of july. I just found this now because obviously i would not do this stupid mistakes. I believe i still have a chance and now that i read this i feel much good with myself. I need to start NC once again right? The problem is i that i know she did not get over her ex boyfriend and i believe she will find him on a council party on august.
Should i tell her that i don't duel on what happens and what she will do and that i will go NC? Thank you for everything, i believe if i read this on the first week i would be really happy with her, but htat's life ahh. Well, it's always better to realize your mistakes late than never at all. Go into NC properly, and work on yourself in the meantime, focusing on making yourself happy again. Understand that she didn't completely close the door on you back then, but it might require some time before she would feel comfortable talking to you again after your actions back then during the breakup.
The breakup came out of left field for me, despite her protest that there was nobody else involved I have a feeling this guy may have been hovering in the background. I think this because she had said to me during the breakup that she was angry with me for some things, and she didn't want this one guy at work to flirt with her and for her to think for a second I deserved it - so I think it might be that guy.
Which makes me think she let him flirt and maybe things got out of hand and feelings developed. But this is just speculating as I have no hard evidence. It could also be that he's an easy rebound target if he was flirting before, who knows. I'm confused at how she can move on so quickly knowing she wanted so much with us on a couple weeks prior to the break, we had marriage and moving back in together on the table and had been together for 7 years.
I'm coming to terms with it all as time goes on, but there's a part of me that still believes we could've had it all had she not taken the easy way out just because we hit a rough patch. Do you think given the time frame and how this all happened that she has moved on, or had moved on before even the breakup? And has zero feelings left for me? The last time we spoke she was the one who sent me a text to tell me she was dating someone, she swiftly blocked me as she just didn't want confrontation I suppose.
But, I texted her asking to talk and she was resistant to it - said she didn't think anything was on a bad note and is worried that if we forced a conversation for closure it might head that way, and she was "on edge" about talking as the last time we talked things got a little emotional.
I dunno, in Kevin's email subscription he mentioned that there is a "missing badly" stage the ex goes through after a month or two, and this phase lasts a while - I'm just not getting that vibe. I ultimately would like it if things could work out in the future but the more I let time go by the more chance this new thing might be more solidified, but I guess I have no control either way.
My main problem here is that - when we broke up she didn't take steps to remove me or block me from anything, she just limited her FB profile etc and we unfollowed each other. She would view my insta stories every now and then etc. When she texted me about this new guy however, she has since taken steps to remove me from everything and privatise her profiles.
To answer your question on whether she has moved on, it would honestly depend on how early on in the 7 years of marriage she began to feel this way about you but usually for a relationship of 7 years, it is unlikely that she has completely moved on. However, that does not mean she has not given up on the relationship a long time ago. Based on Kevin's email, just because someone may think of you or even miss you, does not mean that they will react positively towards you still because these thoughts of you may come in waves but their logical selves tell them not to act upon it.
Also, there's a good chance that this guy may be a rebound relationship after being together with you for so long, and if she is still on edge towards you, space would be a better option as opposed to pressure from your end, resulting in potentially accelerating the speed at which she moves on.
Thanks for the reply. I couldn't pin point it myself when she might have begun to feel this way. We weren't without problems, but I didn't think they were huge issues that couldn't be resolved. She was still talking about our future, joint bank accounts, what we'd do with our home and where we might move to etc just two weeks before the breakup, so to me all this doesn't indicate she gave up that long before When we went on our holiday I noticed a bit of distance from her, but when I questioned her she just insisted she was tired from the travelling etc so I didn't question further.
She became protective of her phone, when I confronted her about it she said she had been talking to her siblings about some of our issues, I got the feeling she wasn't as over some of the things we fought about as she lead on. We talked about it again and she again accepted and lead on that it was all well. When the breakup occurred she said she had wanted space and time to figure things out and learn to forgive fully, and said that she was still very much in love with me and that even though we were doing better, that it wasn't where it needed to be for her to think about spending the rest of her life with me so she wanted to figure that out.
This makes no sense to me because if things were better then I don't see how breaking up helps that along.
Can I Get My Ex Back If She’s Already Dating?
It feels as though maybe she didn't want things to progress to get better due to mixed feelings from this other guy - if he was hovering around her, which seems more likely in hindsight. I feel like she used old issues as an excuse to bolster her reasoning for looking elsewhere, as there was zero warning for the break and she refused to talk about any of it as if scared of confrontation.
I will give her her space, not like I have much of a choice at this point lol. I've made an effort to block her on some social media accounts as it's easier for me not to look that way, but I've noticed she's made another account and has accidentally liked some of my things, would you chalk this up to just curiosity and nothing more? It's only normal for an ex to miss the other person after a breakup, her included.
Her actions were most probably the result of missing you, getting curious to see how you were doing and thus visiting your profile. However, it usually doesn't mean anything and it definitely isn't a case where she's looking to get back together or would take any further action. I doubt this is going to work for me. I will shortly elaborate. We were together for 3 years, broke up for 5 months now. We had a phone call a few days ago where she said: I moved on, found someone new and I prefer to not have contact anymore.
She would always respond and I've been improving my flaws, however it was all in vain. Do you think there is anything else to do? We study together and I won't see her due to summer for another 3 months. Keep in mind that your changes aren't simply going to get her to jump back into your arms again, and neither is she going to miraculously develop passion for you again.
You're going to have to make an attempt to win her back as if it were the first time you were trying to win someone's heart and treat it as a fresh start. Perhaps at this point, it may not work out since she has told you this, but there's no telling what may happen after the summer break, but only if you're willing to wait it out.
If not, it would be better to simply move on. Hi Ryan, So I just came out of a no contact phase with my ex who is seeing someone else. I sent her a short letter about me apologising and briefly mentioning that I have changed my life around and that I would like to see her in person. Probably to continue giving her space for now, since she does not seem ready to meet you yet.
You might also have to wait and see if the current person she's dating turns out to be a rebound or not before making your move in the future. I think i should start from the beginning. Me age 33 and my gf age 29 were together for 3 years and she ended the relationship a month ago because i made her feel bad about herself and was toxic to her. Yes, we have been talking every day and at the start i was so confused that i paniced and did some stupid moves like begging and trying to talk her back etc. Now lets go back in time. First time was after a year we had been together and the reason was i didnt gave her attention and she hooked up with my friend and lied about that but we managed to get over it.
Second time she left me was again after 1 year after we made up and i can say that same thing happened i didnt gave her attention once again , she hooked up with my friend again and then they both lied to me about that when i put the puzzle together. Once again i was only thinking about myself and didnt notice her and didnt gave her my attention. I know, my mystake. You can see where im going with this.
When we got back together i promised to her that im going to change, that ill be new person but i was kind of mad at her in my hart for cheating on me. It was really hard because she lied to me. Time was passing and i did some changes - mainly changed myself to be more friendly with her kids she has 2 children and spending more time with her.
I need to mention that we live different towns and i was the one how always visited her. Mabye she just got bored? Now back yo present day. I dont know if i was still mad at her for cheating me but we had more and more fights. We had one fight every week and that exhausted us pretty bad.
I could tell that she changed a bit later until she told me it was over. I can say that i was toxic to her. Now after she dumped me, she is immediately dating. Further more she has told me that she never can be with me again but as we have spoken i could see these little notes shes been telling. Like how she is not shure about loving again, or how she feels that she has failed as a woman. For the last month after she broke up with me sha has noticed that i had changed, how i talk and what i do. She just keeps telling how sorry she was that i didnt change earlier and how she wishes that i had done all the changes before she left me.
One thing ive noticed that after endind relationship she has actually never told me that she didnt love me any more or how she feels about me. Firstly, you have to keep in mind that no amount of justification makes her actions any more right than your lack of attention towards her. Cheating is something that would definitely take a toll on the relationship if you forgive her and get back together, because there's always going to be a sense of insecurity, self-doubt, trust issues, and resentment towards her for doing so. All these things translate into your actions which resulted in your toxic behavior.
You should honestly consider the possibility of whether you were toxic for her, or if it was actually the other way around and her actions caused you to behave in a toxic manner. Lack of attention is common in a relationship, and it should have been addressed together as a couple instead of her getting bored and cheating on you on more than one occasion , and even lying to you about it after. Hey Kevin, I been with my ex gf 4 years and 4 months its been great. We are living together for 2 years in college but after i graduated were in semi long distance relationship but I can visit her once a month vice versa.
I admit that i begun too comfortable with the relationship not knowing that i did not give her much attention. Before we breakup she confessed to me that she likes someone it's her college crush. They dated 3 times before she told me. I get upset and angry and i said something bad things to her and then she promised that she will never contact the guy and blocked him in all social media. She told me that she's confused about herself and to the relationship she told me she needed space so that she can fix herself but I keep blaming and threatened her to what she done I begged and pleaded that I will forgive her if she stays.
After 2 weeks she visited in our house we talked and there's a lot of drama she cried because of her guilt. I can sense that she's feeling guilty for what she done. So she decided to broke up with me because she's not ready to be in relationship for now because she knows she can't give her whole heart in the relationship because she like someone else. She told me that she needs time to fix herself and told me maybe someday we can start again so I agreed with her.
I initiated NC but after 1 week I call her that I want her back but she's sorry because she doesn't know herself anymore and doesn't want me anymore. I ask her if she's communicating to the other guy and she said yes. I get very angry to her to the point that i threatened and blackmailed her and promise her that i will make her life miserable if she will not stay with me. Then she promised she stays and never communicate with the other guy, but I know to myself that I will not be happy if she not happy. So I ask her forgiveness for the things I said and done.
I begged and cried to her to start again but she said no. So I just accepted the breakup and tell her she deserves to be happy. After 2 days I came to her workplace to return some clothes she left in our house and to apologize personally to the threats and blackmailing to her. She also apologize for being selfish making wrong decision. I told her if she wants to contact the other guy she can because it's her choice. I told her stop blaming herself for the wrong decision she choose and she deserves to be happy.
And I hug her and kiss her in the forehead and leave. I been 9 days NC to her. Start out with casual topics and show that you are there for her.
Slowly and steadily, climb back into her heart. She is probably looking for a friend and that is exactly what you have to be for the time being. Do not give it away that you are still sexually interested in her. Casual conversations and meet-ups can slowly be turned into slightly flirty attempts to get back with her. Take it slow and do not scare her with a surprise move. If everything works out well, it is time for you to drop hints that you want to get back with her.
Tell her that the time apart has made you realize how important she is to you. Convince her that you are going to work on the mistakes you made the last time. With better communication, effort and a lot of patience, you could turn your relationship into a long term commitment. There are other things to be taken care of if you want to get back with your ex-girlfriend who is seeing someone else. It is important that you sell yourself as the best guy she has ever been with it.
Try and be the perfect gentleman anyone would want to be with. This little time apart should be used to do some introspection and self-examination. It helps to figure out why she decided to walk out on your relationship. Rewind and realize your mistakes and the next time, improve upon them! Learn what went wrong and what could have gone better! Next time, make sure that you approach your relationship with a bit more maturity and responsibility. Change in perceptions could ruin relationships. Everything changes based on where you look at it from.
This could help you understand what she wants and why she does certain things in certain situations. Doing this could help you understand and fulfil all her expectations! It is simple mistakes that ruin your relationship. She would appreciate your honesty and the effort you take to correct your mistakes.
It is your personality and attitude that matters the most and decides if you are attractive. Nurture and project all the qualities that she used to like in you. The past breakup should not make you less confident about your chances and ability to make her fall for you. Women like men who have confidence and self-esteem.
Trying to contact her is a thought you should surely stay far away from. This curiosity would in the end get the better of her and work in your favour. Try and get back to your normal life as soon as possible. Pick up some new hobbies, make new friends and go ahead with your life.
A guy who springs back into a lively life so fast is always attractive! And last but not the least — Win her back, but never by losing your Self-Respect. You can do everything mentioned above to get back your girl but do not lose your self-respect while doing so! Never beg or plead her to take you back. A guy with no self-respect is never attractive! You would end up making yourself look like a needy loser! The bottom-line is that you have to be an even better version of the person she was once in love with.
Most importantly, be the guy she fell in love with and not the guy she broke up with! Anna Fleszer is a relationship writer who offers her own forthright opinion over the worlds of dating, romance, relationships , marriage and friendships. She loves cats, traveling, spending time with her son and husband. Our relationship was amazing. We never really fought when we did they were small stupid fights like about movies and dumb stuff like that , we connected on so many levels except sexually.
But we have had numerous discussions about us getting married and being together in the future with each other in all seriousness. We both knew it was going to happen. We just clicked… whenever we are together, it was just perfect. So about 2 years of our relationship has been long distance as we attend different colleges and dont really see each other aside from winter break, summer break, etc. So it was just kindve confusing for the both of us…. Anyways, last April I met some girl at a track meet, and was just being nice…. Anyways she told me that she really likes me and to be honest I thought she was attractive and wanted to get to know her more….
So, when college ended in late May, I was back with my girlfriend, but the whole summer I was just kept curious about the girl I met at college…. Anyways, the girl had posted a harmless picture of the 2 of us at the beach it was a track party so the whole team was there , and my girlfriend was NOT happy at all…. I was still so curious about the girl from college… However my girlfriend and I still hung out all summer and that connection was definitely still there and I enjoyed every single second of being in her company….
Now towards the beginning of summer I had talked to people about possibly breaking up with my girlfriend to explore my curiosities with the college girl…. Again… she spent that whole summer trying to win me over with cute notes, little gifts, voicemails, etc….
I went out of my comfort zone with meeting girls and trying new things this whole semester, and towards the ending of October I literally had an epiphany…. I knew that I needed my girlfriend back. Not a doubt in my mind…. However, I learned that she started seeing another guy at her college since the beginning of September… this crushed me… seeing her with another guy was the worst possible thing for me.
She had been keeping it quiet on social media, but then I saw a picture and unfollowed her from all social media immediately to prevent myself from being hurt. I had written this letter specifically intended so that my ex girlfriend could read it when we finally met up…. I wrote the letter not holding back anything… I told her I wanted her back and that I was sure that me and her were meant to be together, I recalled past happy memories, I brought up the fact that I have the madonna whore-complex, and a whole bunch of other personal, relationship stuff….
We talked a little after she read it, and she just basically said that the letter came too late, and that she needed the letter of assurance before summer ended…. Anyways, it just sucked to hear her say she was in a serious relationship, and it just confused me because that summer she spent so much energy on trying to win me back, and sending me assuring notes and voicemails,etc…. I know the kindve person she is, and that is a long-term relationship person….
This is all stuff I told her in that letter too… so she knows how I feel. She probably thinks I sound so desperate.
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I told her I still have a few things I want to tell her which is basically just my reflection from when we finally saw each other and the past few days. But she is being like way too nice about it…. I know this is a long ass story but I would really appreciate any feedback… thanks a lot. Please ask this question on our relationship forum https: So I started reading your question when I realized it smelt like burning toast.