5 Reasons Why Going on a Date With That Disabled Dude Will Totally Be posed was “Would you/could you date someone with a disability?”.
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- 5 Reasons Why Going on a Date With That Disabled Dude Will Totally Be Worth It
- 5 Reasons Why Going on a Date With That Disabled Dude Will Totally Be Worth It | HuffPost
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- My Take: Dating Someone with a Disability
People were surprised when I introduced him as my boyfriend. In this situation, you have to decide whether or not you will shrug it off, laugh it off, humour the comments, or confront them. I think the biggest issue is how to negotiate if and when your partner will need any help. In my case, since I am a pretty independent person, I date people with that same trait. So, yes, my partner was self-sufficient.
However, if he asked for help, I gave it. Eventually, like any other couple, we figured out who was good at what and divided the labour.
It really does depend on the type of person you are dating, how independent they are, and the particular situations his or her disability places you in. Dating someone with a disability can bring you into contact with some not-so-average situations. So you have to be open-minded and flexible, and it helps to have a sense of humour.
I also had in-depth conversations with the guy at the beginning of the relationship. There are many terms for various disabilities floating around — cripple, one-legged man, visually impaired, mentally challenged, mad, handicapped, differently-abled, and a whole host of other labels.
It was a bit daunting for me to find the vocabulary needed to even talk about the disability. So, in order to get off on the right foot, I simply asked.
5 Reasons Why Going on a Date With That Disabled Dude Will Totally Be Worth It
He told me he was cool with blind, as well as any metaphor that uses sight. What is okay with one person might offend another. Unfortunately, I made an assumption that gave me a bit of rude awakening. As we all know, depending on where you live, public transportation in Trinidad and Tobago is usually a problem. If you, or your partner, have a vehicle, that issue is a bit less of a problem.
5 Reasons Why Going on a Date With That Disabled Dude Will Totally Be Worth It | HuffPost
Note, I said a bit less, because being a driver has its own level of frustrations. It was only when I began dating a blind guy that I truly began to realise how poorly constructed our streets, street signage and pavements are. It can make things very challenging for a blind, deaf or physically challenged pedestrian. Hell, it makes things difficult for those without a physical disability. Added to which, in many cases, if a person is visibly disabled, taxi and maxi drivers tend not to want to pick them up.
So yes…going out can be a challenge, at times. However, after you get accustomed to the adjustments needed to make this kind of relationship work, you really do get down to the business of being in a relationship. There will the kisses, the I love yous, the I-really-cyar-take-you-on-right-now-nah moments, the fights, makeups, and, yes, the breakup.
In hindsight, one of the things my ex and I agreed on is that the relationship did not start because of his disability, and it did not end because of it either. This is the part that freaks most able-bodied people out. Will I have to do everything in the relationship? Do you really think we want to sit life out on the sidelines? We want to do all of that crap too. Whether things are vanilla or not, is up to you.
Are you planning to stop communicating what you need and want? Are you going to not reciprocate, shut down, or gloss over our needs and wants? Those are deal-breakers and intimacy-killers in any relationship. Sadly, many people with disabilities are subjected to emotional, psychological or sexual abuse. Like with anyone sorting out feeling of trauma and victimization, patience and tenderness go a long way. Sometimes, medications might throw off desire or enjoyment.
My Take: Dating Someone with a Disability
This is so huge. We want to be included and a part of your life. We want to be invited to the parties, the dinners, the night outs and the weekend trips. We all have strengths and weakness in the kitchen, in the laundry room, in the household budgeting and in the day-to-day minutia that makes a life. People who have certain physical limitations might find it hard to stand to do the dishes, load and carry laundry, clean the home or to do grocery runs. So if you can, order your groceries online and have them delivered.
Find a place with a dishwasher. Hire a cleaner a few times a month. Generally, the rules of a break up stay solid: Breakups are not just emotionally rough but have scientifically proven to make people mentally and physically unwell. For disabled people, falling in love is an act of bravery because experiencing a breakup can set back health care.
So just keep that in mind. Another thing that I might advise against is deleting photos on social media or throwing mementos away.
Obviously, if your partner hurt you in a deep way or the pain of keeping reminders of them around is too great, do what you will and delete at will. People who have disabilities fight every moment of their lives to be seen. We are no better or worse than other options true fact though, I am better.
That said, I want to review some reasons that make a date with a cripple really is amazeballs:. I'm pretty sure that every T-Swifty song ever, is based on her desire to find something new, exciting and different.
If you scroll on through any internet dating website, what do you see: Well, if different is what you want, crips got you covered. What could be more different than your date rolling in the bar through the backdoor in their tricked out pound chariot? Don't lie, as you watch them coming towards you commanding their chair with confidence -- you can't help but getting a tingle in your nether regions.
On the handful of dates I have been on, people have told me that I have a sick, yet hilarious sense of humor. I call myself a cripple pretty openly and make fun of the hilariously honest things that happen as a result of my disability This won't be the case for all of us, but I think once you see how deliciously dirty disability can in fact be, you'll be glad you said yes to that "cripple coffee".
For the record, "friendtendant" is a combo of friend plus attendant that occurs when your friends help you out with crip stuff. It has happened a few times now where people will blindly assume that my dates are my caregivers.
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Before all my fellow crips reading this go up in arms about how someone might use me because of this, not to worry. If you want to date me simply to get a free movie, we have other things we prob should discuss. In these instances, we have received free movie tickets, meals, etc.