What to know about dating a recovering alcoholic

But what are the unique aspects of dating a sober alcoholic? the now sober individual must relearn, or possibly learn for the first time.
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Does it bother me? You do not have to understand everything that someone has gone through or how their mind works. Alcohol does not define me. My love and personality define me. Relate your differences to small conditions. Being in a relationship with someone who is in recovery has opened my mind. Every girl, or man, looks for a relationship where they can be themselves, not have any secrets, have communication, and find someone who has goals.

Five Questions to Ask Yourself

A person who has faced true adversity and has overcome it, has true perspective in life. The communication and adultness in our life is a dream come true. We are both really strong-headed, but we talk. We as humans make mistakes, but where we are in our lives determines how we fix them. I sit to myself and wonder what I did to be so blessed to be dating my best friend. As a person who never had a physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological dependency on a substance, I do not comprehend everything he has gone through, but what I do know is that I am so thankful for the treatment he received, and for all of the people who have helped him find himself along his journey.

Recovery is scary, but a blessing in and of itself.


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Your association with the AA should be something that both of you are proud of. Besides being a great help to those trying to kick the bottle, the AA is also a valuable resource of information and support for families affected by alcoholism. So when dating a recovering alcoholic, even you can explore the option of joining an AA support group which is focused on the people affected by alcoholism, such as wives, husbands, parents, partners and children; these groups allow people to share their experiences and benefit from the support of others.

Find one such support group in your area and attend one of their regular meetings. Here you can share your story and why you have come to the meeting. Continue your participation in the support group for as long as you feel necessary. The best possible way to minimize such a possibility is to beware of the triggers your partner has told you about. Love each other as equals When dating a recovering alcoholic, it is easy to slip into the dynamic of the saint and the sinner.

However it is best to avoid a holier-than-thou attitude towards your partner, even though the latter may have made mistakes in the past and is still feeling the consequences. Recovering alcoholics have already accepted that they have a problem and are seeking help. And while you may not have drinking problems, almost everyone has some issue or another that they struggle with. By admitting to yourself that you are not perfect and may also have problems, you create a bond with the person and help the relationship grow stronger. But Shelley continues dating Steve.

Shelley has been dating Steve for a month now. At the wedding, Shelley drinks a massive amount of alcohol. However, that one drink turns into a three-day bender. By the end of this bender, Steve stops drinking. However, Steve is now addicted to alcohol. When he stops drinking alcohol, he suffers from withdrawal symptoms.

Steve reluctantly checks himself into a local detox unit. This costs Steve several thousand dollars.

Following this nightmare, Steve decides to call the relationship quits. The above is a nightmare scenario anyone in recovery will wish to avoid. If Shelley had followed the advice below, surely Steve would have avoided this harsh relapse and their relationship could have blossomed. Without further ado, I offer up these seven tips for dating somebody in recovery and avoiding this cruel situation now faced by Shelley and Steve. Get over the shock that your date is living in recovery. Unfortunately, society often judges recovered addicts harshly. But why is this so?

The Ultimate Guide to Dating Somebody in Recovery | Renew Everyday

Well, the answer is simple: Society tells us that addiction is bad. And unfortunately, people often equate recovery with addiction, even though the two are polar opposites! However, if your new date reveals he or she is a former addict, then it's important you don't make too much of an issue out of that fact. And it's essential that you do not dismiss their prior addiction as some kind of character flaw.

Simply put, being a past addict should not equal doom for future relationships. It's likely he or she used to live a very different lifestyle to his or her current one.

How to Date a Recovered Alcoholic

In fact, we recommend you positively embrace your date's recovery. And let's not forget that recovered addicts are often extremely healthy individuals. Many recovered addicts have spent countless hours educating themselves about nutrition, healthy eating, relationships, self-awareness and exercise. And this usually translates into a healthy and more active lifestyle the rest of us could only dream about!

How to Support Addict So They Stay Sober While In a Relationship - Addiction Intervention

Determine how long your new date has been in recovery.