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- 100% Free Online Dating in Duluth, MN
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- For many singles, it's a one-and-done dating scene
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The sign up process takes only seconds. There are a number of reasons why a relationship might fail to flourish after the first date.
There are the obvious faux pas, such as bragging, drinking too much or talking about your ex. But other, less transparent missteps can be just as damaging.
David Konopacz is fed up with online dating, saying he often feels he's been duped once he meets a woman face-to-face. Paul luxury car salesman admits that the "thrill of the chase" usually ends in disappointment.
While there are no doubt instances of bait-and-switch online, Twin Cities dating coach Kimberly Koehler said that many first dates fail because of the human tendency to believe what we want to be true when given incomplete information. Koehler also said that daters often misconstrue vague statements such as "I like to work out" to match their own expectation of the phrase — whether that means an affinity for weekend hikes or training for Grandma's Marathon.
It doesn't help that we have less than a second to impress prospective mates with our prowess. Princeton psychologists found that strangers form impressions within a tenth of a second of seeing our face. As for Konopacz, he's hopeful he can keep his expectations in check when he joins a singles golf league he found on Meetups. If you've experienced the feeling of being swept off your feet, you may count yourself among the lucky ones.
For many singles, it's a one-and-done dating scene
But it's a double-edged sword. Once you've experienced the euphoria of love at first sight, you may launch yourself on a mission to find it again. A recent neuroscience study on love found that the euphoric "love at first sight" feeling has the same addictive impact as cocaine.
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Neurotransmitters like phenylethylamine the "love drug" and oxytocin are released when we meet a special someone, so it's understandable that so many first dates turn out to be last dates if there's no immediate spark. This is especially true of millennials, who often get labeled as the "Instant Gratification Generation.
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Psychologists say our social intuition — our gut, our inner voice — is usually spot on. In other words, when we meet someone who gives us a bad feeling, we should trust our gut and not see them again. But we shouldn't let their looks alone shape our opinion.