Have you ever wondered if your other half is gay? Well, most of us would probably answer “no,” but for those who have, it's a horrible dilemma. Do you risk it all.
Table of contents
- Top 6 Dating tips for Shy Gay Guys
- Top 6 Dating Tips for Shy Gay Guys
- 7 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Secretly Gay: How to Tell If He's Hiding His True Self
- You’re Not Alone
All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us. What does that even mean? If you like someone enough, open your mind to other possibilities. Not everyone on a hookup app is looking for sex and even if they are, who gives a toss? Spare us your sanctimony, your grace. This is fine — nothing wrong with a one-night-stand — as long as he realises that too.
Watch how meticulous he is with his grooming, and see what products he owns. Gay men often idolize people who have elaborate, over the top lifestyles. He might also love over the top makeover shows, and big award shows such as the Grammys. Who does he look at when you are out? Do his eyes jump from man to man, does he focus on hot men or does he not look at anyone at all? Like it or not, men have wandering eyes but a straight man will look at other women, even subconsciously.
If he refuses to go to the toilet in public and instead wants to go home, it might hint to him not being comfortable in his sexuality. Remember, though, that some people are really only comfortable using their own toilet. Most straight men cannot understand gays. If your boyfriend regularly talks about how gay men had a hard fight and should be accepted, or quotes gay men or Oprah, he might be trying to justify his sexuality. Gay men will often pick a female character in a game, or choose a very hunky man. The reason for this is unknown, but it is psychologically proven to be correct!
Do not date this man again. Jesus, this guy did all of this to you--even gave you a disease--and you're still just concerned about the fact that he might be gay? Since I don't know him personally, there's no way to know if he's really gay. From what you describe, I personally would assume he's neither gay nor straight--plenty of people are somewhere in between.
However, as I said, there's no way you or I can know for sure. Only he knows that. The fact that he was increasingly impotent probably has nothing to do with his sexuality, though. He's an older guy, which means his testosterone levels might have taken a dive. This hormone is essential for his performance. Supplements don't really help this much; only direct administration of testosterone will raise his levels significantly.
Also, he takes nervous system depressants like alcohol on a regular basis. This combo of age and drug abuse will almost certainly make any guy have performance issues. You deserve more than the way that he treated you. If he's addicted to drugs, the drugs will always come first for him.
Top 6 Dating tips for Shy Gay Guys
It sounds like he doesn't have every high standards for his life, so why would he have high standards for your relationship? Having unprotected sex with him especially in the back entrance, which is more dangerous is a bad idea as well, especially if you suspect that he's been fooling around. Extra especially if you suspect that he has been fooling around with other men with no protection. Just don't do it. There are nice men out there who would be happy to be in a committed relationship with you and wouldn't run around doing drugs or two-timing you.
The first issue I see here is that if he made those appointments during your relationship not before you got together , then he cheated. That's a bigger problem than his being with a trans lady. Unless you have an open relationship or something. To answer your question, though, lots of guys find trans women to be taboo and exciting.
Believe it or not, most of those guys are straight. The vast majority, in my experience.
Top 6 Dating Tips for Shy Gay Guys
I've known many, many trans women, and most of their boyfriends are straight. I've also known a few trans ladies who were working girls, such as the kind your boyfriend might have visited, and most of their customers are straight men. If you think about it, it kind of makes sense: Gay guys are interested in men, not women. It's uncommon, in my experience, for a gay guy to be attracted to any kind of woman, transsexual or otherwise.
Though it does occasionally happen. So most guys who are into trans women are straight, and some might be bi. Like you said, it is sometimes true that a closeted gay guy might try to experiment at first with a trans woman if he's in denial. However, if he really is gay and only interested in men, he probably wouldn't do this multiple times. Being with a trans woman is a very different experience from being with a man, and most gay men would not find it too exciting.
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But i guess got scared of reality and we ended up together almost 5 years. The reason we aren't together is he had numerous affairs and my gut says that they all weren't just with women. But he still days hes straight. Hes 40 years old 3 kids 3 different mommas and never bern married. I was to blind to see all his red flags.
7 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Secretly Gay: How to Tell If He's Hiding His True Self
I have been with my man for almost 3 years. The first time we decided to have sex he apologized to me due to his inability to get and maintain an erection. I just figured first time performance issues. We moved in together soon after and not only did this issue continue but the frequency of attempts at having sex diminished greatly.
He continued to have erection problems all the time. He was affectionate at times. He was getting high and we figured his impotence was due to that. Then the drinking became prevalent and the impotency became a huge problem. It was very frustrating in the bedroom trying over and over with no results. He was at least providing oral sex to me until he matter of factly stated one night while in bed as he was performing oral sex on me that he didn't like it at all. Up until this point I just chalked it up to the drinking and drugs.
He had also gone to the doctor to get help. He received a prescription for Cialis which I was more than happy to purchase. He also tried using some testosterone supplements to help. He said he would try it but when I would suggest that we finally try it out, he would drink to, I believe to prevent its effectiveness. I have to backtrack a bit, in the beginning he was not at all embarrassed by showing off his body in all its glory to me. We are both in our 50's.
He is very fit and I had just lost 70 lbs but still insecure about my body and being my first relationship in over 10 years, it was reasonable. Well, as I said he loved prancing around showing off. However I started to become concerned when as he was showing off he would be admiring himself in the mirror and then turn his back to the mirror, spread open his butt cheeks and say so proudly what a gorgeous asshole he had.
He did this almost daily. I became concerned and thoughts started to swirl around in my head with ideas that I didn't want to believe. Not too long after that he told me about sexual encounters that he had had with a gay male neighbor when he was about My boyfriend stated that he partook in this activity quite a few times. He said that it was strictly for the money. At this point we had been together for about a year and I loved him so much that I really was mixed up about what to think but I wasn't willing to let our relationship fail because of something that happened so long ago, but his behavior was very disconcerting to me.
He also told me that whenever he had had a relationship with a woman, that the woman would support him exclusively. So now the word gigolo came to mind.
I started to think about everything he had said, his previous experiences, his unusual admiration for his asshole, his inability to get an erection, living off of women and his yearly HIV testing and wondered if my partner was gay or bisexual. He has a daughter that is gay and when she told him he became very aggressive and enraged that he cut off all contact. It has been over 15 years since he saw or spoke to her.
As time went on this situation of no intimacy led to many fights and my feelings became much stronger towards what I believed his sexual preferences were. I am still very much in love with him. I don't know what to think. I can't broach the subject with him for fear of aggression towards me. He tells me that he loves me then the next he hates me.
He says I am the reason his life is screwed up, that is the addict talking. Unfortunately at a point when things were extremely bad between us just about three months ago we had a very bad fight and he went on a binge. I wouldn't allow him back in our home unless he got treatment. He choose to go to the city and get high but this time on heroin. He ended up at some unknown females apartment.
He told me that he was so high that he collapsed in her shower and that she assisted him in getting out. He stayed with her for days unbeknownst to me. I asked if had sex with her and he said no. At this time I was out of state because of a family emergency but he and I were talking and he wanted to come home and I said okay with conditions that he agreed to. When I went to pick him up in the city he was so high and his nose was covered in scabs from snorting heroin.
I asked if he had sex with her but he insisted no. I replied how the heck would you know if you were so high. I decided that I couldn't deal with his addiction any longer and basically we lived as roommates. My nephew recently died from an overdose and I went to stay with my sister at that time but he was calling and texting me to come home asap. He was going to be leaving and we were going our separate ways until he finished with long term rehab. On my way home he texted me that he had a surprise waiting for me.
The surprise was that he wanted to make love to me and that he wanted my ass. At this point I didn't care because this would be the first time that he could maintain an erection and hopefully please me. It was good but very awkward. It seemed like I was with someone who was very inexperienced or maybe a first timer.
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It didn't take long for him to request to perform anal and I was willing. That is when I saw and felt a different person emerge. He was no longer the inexperienced person that had just been inside of me. I didn't say much and for the first time ever I couldn't wait for it to be over. I was so not in to him. He is back in rehab and this one seems to be working.
He did call me one day asking if I had anything to confess to him maybe about being with someone else because he was having an issue. This prompted me to go to the doctor to get tested for an STD and thanks to him having sex with that skank he left me with a lifetime gift. He broke it off with me the same day I called to tell him that my dad had died.
I have had very limited contact with him. Some letters to him nothing more. No visits he says he doesn't want to see me. Then last night I see a text that was extremely weird from him late at night saying he wants to see me and he misses me. I am not responding for many reasons but the biggest one that is foremost is his sexual preferences and the transmission of the STD.
You’re Not Alone
I believe in for better or worse and I have had plenty of worse. I can live with most of what has happened except if he is gay. Please read this and let me know what you think. Am I being suspicious for no reason or are his actions something I should be concerned about and move on? I recently found out my boyfriend has had a few encounters with Transexuals So the imagery of it was normal for him and that made it feel ok. To begin with we had sex few times then it got less often. By 6 months in I knew something was wrong and blamed myself.
Thought I was too fat too old etc.. But it carried on no sex no touching and no kisses. We were away on holiday and he was sound asleep, being very cagey about his phone, I decided to go through it. Never get opportunity like this I thought. I copied the name he used and saved. The night before we left he was with another guy. He had been posting on different sites for over 2 yr. I was totally and utterly devastated. Thank god there was only a day left and the journey home was not easy. Had to stop myself crying and trying to act normal. Home, he dropped me off and the moment he left i fell apart.
So I made my profiles, went on my mission to get solid evidence that couldn't be denied. And I got this, in the form of pictures of his face and dick on one shot. Many dick pics and his address. He gave me everything I needed and all the details of dogging,times places, often invited me and to his home. I eventually with everything I had on him confronted him. Plus I had catfish couple of guy on sites and one knew him and was besides himself. I walked away, hurt and devastated, by this time lost 4 stone from the stress and lies.
I felt broken and almost suicidal if honest, was few other things he put in place to distract me, like I believed that he may die. Asking me if so please arrange things.. I have to this day never had any explanation or apologies.
Moved in with new hope and optimism in my heart. The 1st day of our new life I could see in his face what he had been doing night before. Bit hurt I thought leave it there. Talked to him many times. Cried myself to sleep many times. He would come to bed just before I had to get up before work. Rarely did we go to bed at same time. I was hurting and frustrated with all this. Started sleeping on sofa because wasn't going to give him space to do his nasty thing.
I started to resent and kind of gay things on TV and would make me angry. Mostly wam bam 30 second job. After 2yr of living together, I finally broke and after finding on my tablet he'd search for hook ups, feeling pretty crappie and unbelievable amount of hurt I toohingsablethrew him out.
Now he wants me to apologise for this feel sorry for him. Yet he wants me but wants his seedy life to!! It didn't have to be this way, many many times I told him that I will support him, be there blah blah.. Short of busting that wardrobe door off with a pick axe laying a red carpet and fanfare nothing more I could have done. The wiff of mothballs follow him. It's the lies deception and how dirty his secret became.
The utter rejection I felt and the emotional tournament I'might still going through. There's help out there for men to come out, where is the help for women who have been through this?? I recently found out that my boyfriend was video skyping with women and men for virtual sex. Our sexual life was not really working very well due to some bad experiences with his ex girlfriends He is a very quiet person and ver introverted, he doesn't have friends or any interest in making.
What should i belive? My brother is gay. The only thing is that whenever I text or call him he takes hours, days, or just will not care to respond. Also, if i ask him to hangout he will decline. I thought at first maybe he is just playing hard to get, because he eventually does end up getting in touch with me. I told him up front that I liked him, and asked him straight up if he was gay.
However, if my brother texts him he almost always answers back right away, and if my brother asks him to hang out, he will usually come out with both of us and a few other friends. Iv been with my boyfriend nearly 4 years and we have a nearly 2 year old child together. You know him better than anyone here does, so you are in the best position to judge this. I will say this, though: Many guys of our generation live in a fantasy world. We grew up getting our jollies off videos on the Internet instead of real sex. For a small percentage of guys, this severely alters their ability to have a real-life physical relationship.
The hyper-stimulation of what they see at the strip club or online makes actual sex with a normal person seem boring by comparison. The fact that he watches girl-on-girl stuff makes me think that he's not necessarily gay, since the vast majority of gay guys are not interested in this type of material.
However, the fact that he "maybe" kissed a guy seems Maybe he's not anything in particular. That's the bigger issue here, I think. I'm not sure if he's gay but I think he is. He uses my tweezers and snaps his fingers in a playful way saying oh no boo boo.. He talks with a lot of guys and touches his self a lot while looking at other men in public. I've asked him before if he's gay pretty much he brush it off. I've asked him why he keep touching his self looking at other men he tells me I'm making it out what to what I want. Which is far from the truth. When you're with someone for years or even months, you noctice a lot things.
Such as, how he treats you and talk to you and just things he use to do. Can someone please tell me if you've had an similar experience and if your mate actually turned out to be gay. I'm 38yrs old an have been with other guys but this one seems like he doesn't want to touch me as much as all the others? He has nothing but naked we on on his screen saver an talks about how he likes the look of we on but I really can't understand why he doesn't seem to want to touch me even for a slight coress?
I think my boyfriend is gay I confronted him but he denies it, and I have no proof of him being sexually with men. I know the truth.. Well, After going through his phone and reading text messages I realized that him and his home boy male friend exchanged selfies That's not a buggy because it was nasty pics and nasty tact talk. The problem is why are two home boys exchanging pics when they work together everyday. It just seem like a more feminine thing to do. There have been times we were out late and he said it was his home boy calling him. It happened to on my bday when we were out late at a party.
At least twice I seeen him step away to take his call saying it's his friend. Then again it could've been a female and he just lied. I'm the one asking for it not him and he has never came while inside. He's always around a lot of his buddies who work with him. The desire to go out and fornicate with me has diminished. I'm the aggressor when it comes to that. He's always tired, busy or another time. Now I've noticed his male friend staying at the house. His brother stays there too and they have the same friends so that can always be the excuse I asked my bf does he stay there now and he replied with an attitude whi stays with you!?
I just broke up with a guy several months ago because I had a strong suspension that he was gay i brush off rumors of him being gay bcuz he explained that he was staying with a gay friend or family me. What if he was cheating with girls that look like dudes and have those masculine characteristics? I use to think he was cheating or gay. Now that we confirmed he was cheating I can't help to think why? I mean at least if it was for a hotter chick that could make a little sense. I mean he shows sexual desire when he takes a pill.
Aside from that he tries everything to get out of doing anything with me. I'm am frustrated and I think he knows this so he makes excuses.