Following brain injury, individuals can — and do — start and maintain healthy, loving, committed . The man I have been dating suffered a TBI over 5 years ago.
Table of contents
- Comments (21)
- Will Anyone Want to Date Me After a Brain Injury?
- Starting or Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury
- Dating: What You Should and Shouldn't Do | BrainLine
I have found this. He uses his brain injury. He holds his do called mates in higher esteem to me. I have put my life on hold for him. And its all gone out the window.. I feel I have lost. He won't help himself.. His bad influence so called mates. I work hard to keep body and soul together. I am not going. He says I'm first. But I don't feel it. I'm bottom of the shit heap.. Its beyond all exasperation. I told him to leave I'm so.
I am mental health nurse. Beyond all my comprehension. In another couple of weeks. I have to throw the towel.
And live my life. Going to be easy. May be this is necessary. For him to realise. I can't take it. It will be over. I guess I have had the Realization. If someone is permantly broken.. And refuses the help. And keeps repeating same. And puts his friends above me. I'm angry and hurt. And his family But. He takes no notice. Its all been a waste of my time and energy.
I'm not wasting any more. I hope people read this. Are going through there own hell. Who are on the receiving. Yo the point of not knowing.. I can see right through his strategies. And I have turned myself inside out. Where I have no more. Sure as hell going to need lots of it..
These posts break my heart. I fell down the steps when I was 20 12 years ago and was in the hospital for a month with a severe TBI. Internally I am sometimes on top of the world, cocky, arrogant, just crushing life and feel great. And within minutes can be hiding under the covers for months, scared of my next thought.
I relate to a lot of the comments above and feel disgusted at the way I have treated people. I've done my best attempting to get help, and fall off track often. The struggle to find help again gives me so much anxiety that I usually don't get very far. Regarding Steve's comment from Feb Your post broke my heart. I don't have a TBI myself, but have fallen in love with someone who was in a wreck 17 yrs ago age I have two things to share: Perhaps you could get a psychiatric consultation about these emotions and inability to get out in the world-class is Soo similar to the way people with bipolar experience life.
That's my own personal opinion, of course. I did just end a 25yr career working with disabled people. Now I realize the changes in my brain and lifestyle aren't very different from the people like you who I have met.
I understand what it feels like to be So Lonely and sad about your life. Me, my boyfriend, and others have suffered, too. Sorry this is so long.. I just wanted to help a little. This site is helping me so much. I am reading things that sound just like my situation, when I thought it was just me. Dating a man with a TBI he suffered 20 years ago. We are just at 5 months now. He was charming, a dream come true. This all lasted for about 3 months.
- Comments (6)!
- Starting or Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury | BrainLine?
- Comments (87).
- Dating: What You Should and Shouldn't Do?
He told me about the injury at the beginningbut said other than some short term memory issues, there was nothing to really know. He wanted to plan a future with me. He joined me at several Christmas invites. It was so wonderful. All of a sudden, he changed. Looking at it now, I think I overwhelmed him and I had no idea I was doing it. He even has accused me of controlling him at Christmas He has wanted to break up a couple of times, but then was texing the next day that he loved me. The last two months have been a rollercoaster.
We will spend some time together and it's wonderful Says he is'nt fit to have a relationship - Will even block me from his phone. Then a few days later, be back telling me he loves me. He is in really dark place. I'm trying to get him to concentrate on our friendship. Thank you so much to all of you who are posting, those with TBIs, you are making this easier to understand.
I want to understand. I am starting to think that he maybe is afraid that I will see a side that I won't love so he is in this mood. I know most of it has nothing to do with me but it's so confusing sometimes. Will I ever get that wonderful man I loved so much at the beginning back, even for a while? Having TBI is difficult, I've been bailed on cuz of it. You're with someone you love and things are going great but they don't want to put in the effort to understand and walk away for a downgrade in everyone's eyes.
It's gotten to the point that I'm not meant to be with anyone, females don't want to put in the effort in my experiences. I have recently met a guy that I can say have fell in love with very much. He has a TBI and I agree he is the most loving and caring person. He has issues where he thinks i am hiding men and cheating on him while he is in my home. We have broken up a few times now and he will do the same by blaming me for everything, will block me and then tell me he loves me and wants to work things out with me.
Our 2nd breakup I realized he had a TBI and felt awful , because I definitely did not handle our arguments appropriately or to even know how to say I am not lying or cheating. We currently are broken up again and is the same issue of cheating and dishonesty and I am currently blocked. I have told him I would be there for him through all of this and I want to be with him forever. I want to learn how I can help him feel happy again because he makes me happy. My husband had an accident 7 years ago and now left with TBI.
Although very difficult to live with him but I managed to stay strong and stand tall be proud for 7 years. Not easy, very challenging, lots tears and sacrifices but have to do it for the sake of my children we have 2 beautiful smart children. The hardest bit is to make our children understand the situation. Whenever he had mood swings, shouted with temper kids will be scare and upset.
Things that I never wanted to see. The only thing made me giving up but also the main reason I am staying.
I have never been apart of online support. I love my partner very much. We have been together over a year and currently live with one another. I haven't thought one time of leaving him but have been having a hard time supporting myself alongside him through the hard times. I constantly reassure him im here when hes ready to let me be. Sometimes i talk to him and he doesnt say a word back.
Will Anyone Want to Date Me After a Brain Injury?
He wont look at me, he wont speak to me. I feel like im a burden to him instead of a support system. He has opened up to be a few times in the past about his injury and allowed me to have his back. This time its different, and has almost been a month since this has all been going on. My son is noticing a difference in his whole demeanor as well and takes it personal, like hes done something wrong Do you have any advice for me??
My husband suffered a TBI in He was successful physician which after the accident his license was taken away. Our lives have been turned upside down. He was in a day program for 16 months. Learning how to speak, write and walk correctly. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that this all happened.
We have good days and we have bad days. And the days that are bad I just have to keep telling myself that this day will pass and hopefully tomorrow will be better. We wrote this book hoping it would help one person. I was so afraid of the future and so was he. There was not many books out that I thought could help me. This book shows you a lot about what a brain injury survivor goes through and also the caregiver.
I hope somebody reading this will find some part of the missing puzzle in the book. It is available on Amazon. He was hit by a car in I found this site in a desperate attempt to find others who go through the experiences of having a partner with TBI.
Starting or Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury
I get very confused with my partner and some of the things he says. He will often contradict himself and his temper is dreadful. He often uses the wrong words for the context. I feel very suffocated in my relationship. I often walk on eggshells, in an attempt to avoid his anger bursts. I don't feel like I can feel any normal human emotional with him because he blows it out of proportion and it ends up being about him.
Our entire life is based around dealing with his TBI. We have 5 children between us. I am the provider and then I organize the house etc. I get so tired overseeing everything. Today he told me that nothing he does is good enough and that I keep asking for more and more.
I've come to learn that as a partner of someone with a TBI it is so important to do things in life that make you happy. Your TBI partner generally hates who they have turned into and the last thing they want is to see you restricting your life in order to align with their limitations. A TBI partner cannot give you the normal relationship life. They are simply unable to. Being with a TBI survivor means temper bursts, unstable emotions, contradicting their words, fatigue, inability to participate in some physical activity.
If you are going to stay with a TBI survivor, you do need something for yourself. You need to have something that rejuvenates you. There will be an emotional gap with a TBI.
Dating: What You Should and Shouldn't Do | BrainLine
It's not that they don't love you. They are brain damaged and their altered emotional state and often poor ability to communicate can cloud what that looks like. After the coma, there were extremely frustrating years of therapy learning how to walk, read, reason and perform basic independent living functions again. It was torture needing help having to ask a stranger which bathroom said "Men" after leading men in combat for years. Although my girlfriend was by my side for the first year of my post TBI life, she eventually got tired and bored, so she left.
In the years since then, all of my relationships have ended like clockwork after about 3 months. I've given up on the chance that I'd ever find someone who would love me enough to see beyond my difficulties and just appreciate the loyalty, humor, passion, and love I have to offer. It feels like either contemporary singles are too fickle to prioritize the heart I don't know, but reading these posts shows me that it is possible that someone may at least want to try one day.
And sorry for writing a Novela here, but this is my first time sharing in any forum where I feel like someone might be able to understand. Both situations are complex and require the utmost care and patience. It may be difficult, but dating and thriving in a committed relationship are both completely possible for people with brain injuries. Dating with a TBI can bring to light different fears and uncertainties, especially if your TBI has limited your ability to pick up on social cues or pull information from your memory.
Experts suggest being honest about your TBI from the beginning, so your date understands your history and can respect the context from which you are coming to the date.
- The Truth about Dating with a TBI.
- cracked weird dating sims?
Sometimes it can help to read about the unspoken expectations of dating, like dressing well, maintaining hygiene, staying interested in what the other person has to say, and only talking about appropriate topics. If you have suffered a TBI and are already in a committed relationship, then you and your partner may need to adjust to changes in responsibilities, roles, and communication challenges.
The book provides helpful information about romantic relationships and relationships with family and friends. After meeting someone you like, you might want to get to know him or her better. Dating is the next natural step in building close relationships. Many people are scared by the thought of going out with someone new. Dating can be confusing for most anyone, including persons with brain injury. For certain folks, dating is a mystery full of complex rules and strange customs.
They may be unsure about what to say or do. Fear of making a mistake or doing something embarrassing may keep people who would like to date from actually going out on dates. Some people are afraid of meeting strangers out of fear for their safety. To make sure you practice safe dating, meet new people with the potential for being trustworthy. Meeting people who volunteer to help others or members of religious groups, churches, or synagogues may be a good place to start. Until you know the person well, arrange to go on dates in public places or with a group of people.
Let other people, like your roommate or a family member, know when they should expect you to be home after a date. The mission of the NRC is to provide relevant, practical information for professionals, persons with brain injury, and family members. For more information about helpful materials published through the NRC including the Recovering Relationships book, please check our website www.
As a survivor of shaken baby symptom, leaving me with a severe TBI, I have had a hard time socially. I know all of this on the list. I need help with how to approach people women and ask them if they would like to go out. I need to know a strategy to use to keep my anxiety down and keep what I want to say there, right now this holds me back. I'm afraid of being turned down. TBInlove is social dating community concentrating specifically on people with TBIs and other disabilities. People with disabilities find it difficult for others without a disability to accept them for who they are.
Most people cannot see beyond the persons disability and do not give us a chance.