How to send a online dating message

Here are some online dating message tips to help you write something that has a high chance of getting a response.
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11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy. While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests.

Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like.

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one. I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.

Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself. Strange how in the world of dating we have always been told that self confidence is extremely attractive, but the opposite holds true with regards to online dating. Putting yourself down or being a little shy or awkward can come across rather endearing.


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Whereas as over confidence can often be a turn off in a first message. Using the words, awkward, sorry, and apologise gets better results when sending a first message to a woman but not so to a man.

Our favourite part of the job at Soulmates is collating the success stories we receive from happy couples that met through our site. Skip to content The Soulmates Blog. Author The Soulmates Team Share. Tone down the Netspeak Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs. These all make a terrible first impression.

In fact, if you count hit and we do! This makes a certain sense: You might think that words like gorgeous , beautiful , and sexy are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them. On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. We took a close look at salutations.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

The more informal standard greetings: There are many words on the effective end of our list like zombie , band , tattoo , literature , studying , vegetarian yes! Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that it works. Awkward , sorry , apologize , kinda , and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages.

A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.