Right now your ex is looking preeeettty good. with someone doesn't magically result in N alignment of the fundamentals that make a healthy relationship.
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- 6 questions you should ask if you want date your ex's friend - HelloGiggles
This is usually solved by being up front with both your ex and their friend and asking.
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But friendships are complicated. You loved or at least liked your ex, so it makes sense that you vibe with their friends. But sometimes the best thing you can do after a break up is to totally switch things up. Dating new people can be dreadfully hard, we get it, but branching out is a good thing.
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Their social proximity, dreamy eyes, and the ease of already having access to the Instagram profile aside, why this person? At the risk of stating the obvious, people who are friends usually have a ton of things in common, including personality traits. Home Love Dating Games of Life 6 questions you should ask if you want to date your ex's friend. I hadn't seen or talked to him in four years at that point. Well, that was before I got the job. No, he honestly did not factor into that decision.
It was totally unrelated.
4 GOOD Reasons To Get Back Together With An Ex
Tonight I had a date with him. I really had no idea what to expect.
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We have a really easy rapport, and it feels like we naturally click just like we did in the past. To be honest, I was quite shocked that it just all came back like that. Part of me still cared about him, but I feel like I was over it except as you remember a good friend from the past fondly.
So my question is, is that a bad thing? I told him truthfully that I would be very busy in the next couple of weeks at work, moving into my new place, and so on. But he said he would love to see me sometime after that. Should I be seeing him if I still have those feelings for him? Is it a really terrible idea to date your ex? Has anyone out there had a similar sort of situation?
How do I know if this is the right thing to pursue or not? Should I just try to be friends with him and not see him that often? Am I just going to ruin his life and mine? I was really not prepared for this. For me, the answer always depends on why you broke up in the first place. It looks like you made the intelligent and self-aware decision then too young, too stressed to enjoy each other the way you deserve to and that tells me you have a good head on your shoulders.
It seems like you're both in a better place now and that it's remained easy and fun. The waters are calm enough that if it doesn't work out this time, you either a know that the reasons it didn't have to do with something other than external factors you couldn't control or b you remain friends.
That's when you know you're living.
Also, FWIW, I don't think you were ever really over it if you feel all that differently around him in person. It was just a defense mechanism, albeit a good one. Your heart is overriding your head. All these questions are from the head. Your heart is asking permission to throw these out of the window, which feels good but can be painful too. I'd say follow your heart but very slowly and carefully. At the first hint of history repeating, listen to your head again.
There is a good chance whatever happens in the future will have echoes of the past, but if you don't follow your heart you may always regret that. Plenty of people get back together with someone they dated, especially a teenage relationship as adults. Married my ex, too.
Is There Ever a Good Reason To Get Your Ex Back?
So it can work. It's easy for that to be a crutch, I'd say? You know the other well, its easy to get into a nice routine, etc, but if the feelings are really there and junk then that's not necessarily a bad thing. Is it a good idea? But I can tell you that you are probably a very different person at 26 than you were at 21, even if you don't realize it at the time. The question is, do you want to date your ex?
If the answer from your heart is yes, then go for it. The only thing stopping you is some idea of what you should or shouldn't do. But the relationship between the two of you is totally unique, as all relationships between two unique people are, so don't worry about generalisations and received wisdom.
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Think about what the issues were in the past and come to some agreement as to how you can avoid them this time around, but apart from that just take the risk and take it one day at a time. Give it a go, what the hell.
6 questions you should ask if you want date your ex's friend - HelloGiggles
I say this because you haven't listed any serious danger signs. The one danger is that you could get hurt. This could happen through breaking up again for essentially the same reasons, but there are other ways. Other than that, your year-old self is much different from your year-old self and in theory, it could also go well. You have the usual set of acceptable risks here. You haven't expressed concerns that either of you is a danger to the other, or described a history of deliberate meanness or any of that.
I classify dating your ex as "a bad idea apart from a pretty narrow range of situations. It sounds like you didn't break up because you two are bad for each other, but because quite reasonably you didn't want to get married at 21 to your high school boyfriend. Now you're 26 and you know a lot more about yourself and it's a perfectly good time to start dating a man you might be really serious about. Reader, I married him. We do not talk about anything before our second go-round.
And even when he annoys me, I reflect on how wonderful it has been to know him, and how much love I might have missed if we hadn't gone on our second first date. Anecdote only, YMMV, click and rapport are not to be sneezed at, good luck It may be great. It may be terrible. You'll find out soon enough.