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I had selected men in the age range 28—41, and was paired with quite a few. But I was slightly disappointed with the options I was being given: And too many had clearly not left the house for a while.

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But was I being too picky? Over in London, it seemed my girls were having similar problems. The three of us had never had an issue with our age, until men on these sites started to highlight it — be it in messages, in conversation, or in their lock-down filters for girls under This process has made me aware that women are often more accepting of age than men are.

This was confirmed by a survey conducted by OKCupid, which suggested that on average, men aged 20—50 prefer to date a girl in her early 20s. But this only happened because I extended the distance range to the whole of the US. Trust me, I was trying hard to not be choosy. With the men I did take a shine to, it felt like we had to take exams before we could actually obtain contact. By the fourth step in the process, I was halfway through the first month of my subscription. We hoped no one would hear our harsh honesty.

I generally assumed that men would be fearless when it comes to finding an online mate, but it seems that as they are encouraged to dream up the ideal woman, most of us are sidelined from being a serious option.

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These came to tepid endings, however; the sparks were missing. It was at least a relief to know that all these profiles do have actual people behind them.

The three of us discovered that Hinge, Happn and Tinder were now where everyone serious about this stuff seems to roam. These apps are more entertaining and verge on handheld game territory, so the stigma of appearing needy or desperate is gone.


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What does instantly appear, however, are a lot of torsos and, should you not be careful, adult content. Happn and Hinge were living up to their names: Hinge has the added bonus of allowing you to see friends you have in common a safer option and Happn introduces you to people who are literally walking past you. Reasons for being distracted from worship or the sermon aside, she did have a point.

Despite his beautiful eyes, I declined him. I then stumbled across a delightful I mean gorgeous man. In his profile shot, he had a stethoscope around his neck. A man with a career! After we had exchanged a few messages, he wanted to meet I would strongly advise meeting early on to avoid the imagination exceeding reality.


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  • I ensured that church was mentioned within 15 minutes of conversing online; my own profile already declared I was a Christian. On asking him if he could write, and therefore help me meet some article deadlines, he responded: Towards the end of my online dating trial I had some revelation. Neither I nor my two friends had found love. But strangely, I found myself feeling more open to that little thing that I had lost time for due to so much online activity — real life.


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    Appearing in human form for social events, community projects or blind dates suggested by friends made more sense — it was more productive and less isolating. And funnily enough, over those two months, male friends became more intriguing. One had known for three years had slowly begun to grow an interest in me. I even dated him a few times, having never before considered romance could be there. Had I gained a new sense of self-awareness?

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    I had become more open-minded to people in my everyday. My Brit friends in London also seemed to exude a new sense of confidence, more faith in God, even. We may not have reached the destination of marriage through a screen, but this has poised the heart to be more hopeful, brushed off pride or fear in dating, and left us enjoying a journey of unexpected interactions. In short, online dating may not bring the spouse you were after — but it might introduce you to yourself on a whole new level.

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