Polyamorous dating is one of those things that people are not used to seeing. But , we are . Setting up your poly dating profile takes a nice turn in this arena.
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- 8 Things to Consider in Polyamorous Dating Before Committing to Another Partner
- Polyamory - Wikipedia
On top of being polyamorous, I am also queer — and relationships between queer people are also really underrepresented in the media. You see, I had no blueprint for entering a relationship when you already had a partner. I feared that a break-up with one person would lead to a break-up with the other.
I worried about whether my partners would get along, or whether one of them would feel neglected. Also, and most painfully, I felt unworthy of being loved by one person, let alone two.
It was a confusing time. Here are some useful questions to ask yourself before committing to another partner.
8 Things to Consider in Polyamorous Dating Before Committing to Another Partner
Often, being polyamorous is described as having unlimited love to give to others. For many polyamorous people, love feels like a non-finite resource. But love is not all that we give in relationships. We also give our time, energy, resources, and emotional space to the people we commit to. So, before committing to another partner, ask yourself if you can give them the time, energy, and support that they deserve. Do you have any strenuous work commitments or family responsibilities? Are you busy with school, college, or other studies? Are you planning on moving? Are you taking care of a family member?
Are you in an emotional and mental space where you can take on another partner? Remember to prioritize self-care. You might have enough energy and time for another person, but remember that you need to have energy and time for yourself, too! Think not only about your situation now, but what your situation will be a few months along the line.
In my experience, taking on a new relationship can enhance your current relationships. But they can also highlight pre-existing problems. We know that working on relationships can take up a great deal of time and energy. This can be even more so when you have multiple partners, especially since difficulties and insecurities in one relationship could spill over into another.
Of course, no relationship is perfect.
Polyamory - Wikipedia
What I am saying is that your relationship needs to be healthy and manageable. Do you think your current relationships are healthy or toxic? Are you making an effort to work on your current relationship s?
Is the effort reciprocated by your partner s? If your relationship is very difficult, consider whether you might be taking on a new relationship to mask issues with your current partner. Are you taking on a new relationship because your current partner neglects you? Are you feeling insecure in the relationship? Does your current relationship make you feel unfulfilled? Polyamory is beautiful because it makes us realize that no single partner can fulfill all our needs. Bringing more people into a toxic situation can cause a great amount of distress for everyone involved.
Since my partner is a very perceptive, thoughtful person, I trust their judgement. Chances are that your new partner will spend a lot of time with your family. It could be indicative of deeper underlying issues with your family, current partner, or potential new partner. Consider the people in their life. Are they in committed relationships? Especially one where you are seeking either multiple connections or you are already partnered and looking for another connection.
Consider answering these questions when making a profile on PolyMatchMaker. Specify why you are interesting. Detail your own personal beliefs in ethical non-monogamy, poly, etc.
List what you are going to bring to the table and offering. Be forthcoming about your end goal be it FWB, relationship, an encounter, or all of the above. Using these types of words means you are not flexible.
Within what you are looking for: Think about and list positives over negatives but be brutally honest about what you will not accept from a potential partner. This section is very important and must be thorough without being overly wordy. Believe it or not, spelling and grammar can help you appropriately define your needs, wants, and desires.
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