In the beginning, “the honeymoon” of the relationship, it's difficult to determine what type of individual you are dating. Both you and the date are guarded, trying to.
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- Are You Dating a “Loser”?
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- 7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser
- signs you’re dating a loser | Psychopathyawareness's Blog
Are You Dating a “Loser”?
Nonviolent males find themselves in physical fights with female losers. Nonviolent females find themselves yelling and screaming when they can no longer take the verbal abuse or intimidation. In emotional and physical self-defense, we behave differently and oddly. If you are involved in a relationship with one of these versions, you may require professional and legal assistance to save yourself. Physical Abuser Physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving — shoving, pushing, forcing, etc. Getting away from physical abusers often requires the assistance of family, law enforcement agencies, or local abuse agencies.
Female losers often physically attack their partner, break car windows, or behave with such violence that the male partner is forced to physically protect himself from the assault. They may fake terminal illness, pregnancy, or disease. If you try to end the relationship, they react violently and give you the impression that you, your friends, or your family are in serious danger.
People often then remain in the abusive and controlling relationship due to fear of harm to their family or their reputation. Psychotic or psychiatrically ill losers may also stalk, follow, or harass you. They may threaten physical violence, show weapons, or threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave them. If you try to date others, they may follow you or threaten your new date.
Your new date may be subjected to phone harassment, vandalism, threats, and even physical assaults. You may need help and legal action to separate from these individuals. During the detachment phase you should…. Observe the way you are treated. Gradually become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions.
Quietly contact your family and supportive others.
More From Thought Catalog
Determine what help they might be — a place to stay, protection, financial help, etc. If you fear violence or abuse, check local legal or law enforcement options such as a restraining order. Stop arguing, debating or discussing issues. Begin dropping hints that you are depressed, burned out, or confused about life in general. That will only complicate your situation and increase the anger.
This sets the foundation for the ending of the relationship. Explain that you are emotionally numb, confused, and burned out. React to each in the same manner — a boring thanks. Focus on your need for time away from the situation. You will be wasting your time trying to make them understand and they will see the discussions as an opportunity to make you feel more guilty and manipulate you. While anyone can change for a short period of time, they always return to their normal behavior once the crisis is over.
Seek professional counseling for yourself or the support of others during this time. You will need encouragement and guidance. Imagine a dead slot machine. If we are in Las Vegas at a slot machine and pull the handle ten times and nothing happens — we move on to another machine. However, if on the tenth time the slot machine pays us even a little, we keep pulling the handle — thinking the jackpot is on the way.
Never change your position — always say the same thing. During the Follow-up Protection period, some guidelines are:. Never change your original position. At this point, it is important to remember only one thing. It is his behaviour that is irrational and not yours. It is not always easy to realise, lest admit to yourself, that you are dating a loser. Your friends and family may spot the signs and try to alert you to their concerns.
- kempton park online dating.
- 12 Signs The Guy You’re Seeing Is A Loser Who’s Wasting Your Time | Thought Catalog.
- writing successful online dating messages.
Nonetheless, you are oblivious to the issues they raise and dismiss their fears without so much as a second thought. The grave danger in doing this, is that their views are usually far more objective than yours. When your nearest and dearest tells you that they do not like the person that you are dating, you really need to view this as a red flag. Remember, they love you and want nothing more than to see you happy. However, they see how he treats you. They see the effect that it has on you. They see how dating this guy has changed you into a shadow of your former self. Try and see the situation from their perspective.
Also, do not forget that these are the very people who will be there for you, picking up the pieces, long after the loser has disappeared. A loser has a tendency to say one thing but do the complete opposite. He also has a penchant for lying, albeit badly at times. Nonetheless, he will never admit that he was lying, even if he is caught red-handed. As time goes on, the loser will begin to cancel dates or possibly, not not show up at all.
He will make endless promises that he has no intention of keeping. He will say that he loves you but then treats you like something on the bottom of his shoe. He may even become physically abusive. At this point, you need to walk away, regardless of any tearful apologies that he may make. A loser is self-obsessed and only cares about himself and his image.
He is unable to walk past a mirror without checking himself out. He also likes to talk about himself and rarely lets you speak, unless it is to shower him with praise. He expresses very little interest in your life, family, friends, work or your activities and interests. Your role is to make him feel good about himself and not to bore him with the minutia of your life.
A loser tends to be extremely active on social media, constantly posting images of himself. He will closely monitor the number of 'likes' and adoring comments from his followers. It is highly improbable that he will add any photographs of you. He does not want anyone to steal his thunder. A loser lacks empathy and does not stop for one moment to consider how his actions will affect you.
His inability to accept criticism also means that he is never wrong. Consequently, any attempt by you to challenge his wrongdoings will simply result in feelings of anger or self-pity on his part. As a result of this, you may even begin making excuses for his actions. A loser will openly criticise and embarrass you in public. He will do his very best to make you feel worthless, so that he can feel superior to you. This makes you easier to control. As you begin to have feelings of self-doubt, you will eventually reach a point where you feel worthless.
7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser
This is exactly where a loser wants you to be. He does not want you to succeed at anything, as that would make you better than him.
He is secretly setting you up to fail at everything you do. At the beginning of your relationship, a loser will usually insist on paying for everything. This is to lull you into a false sense of security, but do not be fooled. This is simply a ruse to deceive you into believing that he is financially secure. More often than not, a loser is living on credit.
He is unable to manage his money and often has significant debts.
signs you’re dating a loser | Psychopathyawareness's Blog
He also has a great sense of entitlement which means that he spends way beyond his means. Slowly, but surely, he will begin to milk you for all you are worth. He may explain that he has 'cash flow' problems and begin by borrowing small amounts of money. Initially, he may even repay these.
A small token gesture which is intended solely to further increase your confidence in lending him larger amounts of money. A loser will view you as his personal ATM and even develop a sense of entitlement to your money,. Whatever you do, never, ever lend a loser any money and, most definitely, do not borrow money or co-sign a loan for him. You really do not need financial hardship on top of heartbreak. If you are having problems getting over them, then you should consider implementing a period of no contact.
The most important thing to remember is that the problem is not with you. You may even discover that your partner has a history of this type of poor behaviour. It is also possible that he has a borderline personality disorder or, worse still, is a narcissist. Ultimately, you will discover that the trouble with dating a loser is that they are not always that easy to get rid of. As soon as you start pulling away, in an attempt to end the relationship, they usually pursue you with renewed vigour. He puts you on a pedestal. He resorts to personal attacks and he demeans you just to make you feel bad.
He feels compelled to control every aspect of your life because of his own personal insecurities. He is just going with the current. Part of being a mature and responsible adult is proper financial management. And if he is far too extravagant, then you risk latching yourself on to someone who could bring financial burdens into your life.